Page 151 of Before We Were

"It's cute," he adds smugly. "The way you look at her. Your face lights up. Seriously, a blind man could see it, so don't bother denying it."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Whatever you say, Natey boy." Marcus chuckles, pushing off toward the girls across the pool.

I sit there, feeling her pull all over again. I try to stay put, determined not to stare. But she makes it impossible. The yellow bikini showing through that barely-there cover-up. The way she leans back, and the line of her throat as she sips her drink.

Fuck me.

I'm trapped in my head, frustration clawing at me. The kind that makes you hyper-aware of yourself but clueless about how others see you. Most of my life, I haven't cared how I come across. But with her, everything is different. I've been detached for so long, an observer rather than a participant. Not in some creepy way, more like someone who stands in awe of art.

And she is art. Pure, unfiltered, breathtaking. I can't look away.

My attraction to Nora hasn't hit all at once. It has seeped into my skin, my bones, my soul over years. Slow. Calculated. Relentless.

There's no escape. She owns every piece of me and she doesn't even know it.

And now she's walking straight toward me.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Just like that, I'm seven years old again, pining after the girl who's had a hold on me my entire life.

I sit up, elbows on my knees, legs spread wide on the lounge chair. She stops in front of me, and I catch that citrusy blend of her shampoo and sunscreen. My gaze travels up, taking in every inch of her perfect body wrapped in that barely-there dress.

When our eyes finally meet, I can't tell if either of us is breathing.

"Hi."

"Hi."

I have no idea if anyone's watching.

I don't care. All I see is her.

"You left early this morning," she says.

"I did."

"Why?"

Because I don't know how to handle this.

Because being close to you tears me apart.

Because I want you in every fucking way imaginable.

"You're not going to ignore me now, are you? I thought we were past that."

"Nora—"

"Don't push me away, Nate. Not after everything."

I don't want to push her away. But I also don't want to ruin her. That's what I do—I ruin things. Break them.

"The kiss—" I start, but she cuts me off.

"Was not a mistake, and you know it. So don't bullshit me."

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