Page 166 of Before We Were

“Eyes on me, Leni,” he says, low and dark, a whisper soaked in velvet and command. My mouth gapes open while my spine turns to liquid. His thumb drags across my lower lip, slow and firm, just enough to make me freeze.

“I want to watch you let go.”

And I do.

I can’t tear my gaze from his even if I tried. There’s something primal in him now—something untamed that calls to the wild thing waking up in me. I let it out. Let itburn. I meet his eyes without flinching, every wall inside me crashing down. I let himseeme—raw, vulnerable, undone.

A silent offering. A surrender.

That smile he gives me? It’s not sweet.

It’s lethal.

Slow and smug and soaked in power, like he’s just won a war. He presses into me, close enough that I can feel the full heat of him. His mouth brushes mine—not a kiss, but a promise.

And when his fingers blaze a line down my throat, I swear I stop breathing.

"Good girl," he whispers against my mouth.

Two simple words shatter everything and suddenly the room tilts sideways.

The gentle pressure of his fingers transforms into something else—something rough, demanding, wrong.

Evan's hands, were too harsh, taking what wasn't his to take. The sweet cedar scent of Nate's skin morphs into the sour stench of beer and cigarettes that clung to Evan that night.

Panic spreads through my chest like ice water in my veins.

No, stop.

This is Nate.

Safe, gentle Nate.

Count to three.

One…

But Evan's voice drowns out my counting.

My skin crawls with phantom touches. The soft lighting dims in my mind, replaced by suffocating darkness. The wall against my back feels like that mattress—the springs digging into my spine, the sheets tangled around my legs like restraints. The taste of mint from Nate's kiss turns metallic, like the blood in my mouth from biting my lip to keep quiet.

This isn't real.

It's Nate.

It's Nate.

But my body doesn't believe my mind.

The harder I fight the memories, the stronger they become, like quicksand pulling me under. Evan's grip on my wrists, the weight crushing my ribs, his hot breath against my neck—it all crashes back in vivid, terrible detail. When Nate's fingers ghost along my thigh, reality splinters. I'm falling through time, through space, through that trap door I thought I'd sealed shut, back into the darkness where monsters wear human faces.

My lungs forget how to work. The room spins faster. Every touch, even Nate's gentle ones, feels like burns on my skin. My throat closes, remembering the pressure of Evan's hand, the way he squeezed until stars burst behind my eyes.

"Nora?" Nate's voice cuts through the fog, and I realize I'm shaking, breath coming in panicked gasps.

He pulls back immediately, hands raised as if he's the one who's done something wrong. The hurt and confusion in his eyes guts me.

"Shit, Nora," he says softly, my nickname breaking in his mouth. "Hey, fuck, I'm so sorry. I—did I hurt you?"

---