Page 233 of Before We Were

Don't break.

Don't tell him how Dad used to wait until he was asleep.

Don't tell him about the sound-proofed basement.

Don't tell him why you really quit the team and school.

I stop myself, jaw clenching as I look away. The morning sun catches on the water, blinding. When I open my mouth again, my voice is quieter, almost broken.

"Forget it. Hate me. Villainize me. Do whatever you want. I don't care anymore."

I'm about to walk away when his voice hardens again, cutting through the air like a blade.

"You'll break her heart, and you know it. It's not a matter of if, but when."

His words hit me like a physical blow to the chest. I know exactly who he's talking about. I open my mouth to argue, but no sound comes out. He shakes his head, his anger simmering just below the surface, and turns to leave.

And just like that, I'm left standing on the dock, the gravity of his words dragging me down like an anchor. The morning sun feels too bright, too exposing, highlighting every crack in the armor I've spent years building.

Maybe one day you'll understand, little brother.

Maybe one day you'll forgive me for keeping you in the dark.

But I'd rather have you hate me than know the truth about the monster you call Dad.

The fight with Jake leaves ash in my mouth.

My knuckles ache from holding back, and his words pound against my skull like a hammer. His face haunts me—twisted with anger, hurt, betrayal. I thought I could save him, pull him back before Dad dragged him under completely. But to Jake, I'm not his protector anymore. I'm the villain, the convenient target for everything wrong in his life.

I need a drink.

And I need the one person who's seen me at my worst and stayed anyway.

Jay picks up on the second ring, his voice casual but threaded with that familiar concern that always steadies something inside me. "To what do I owe the pleasure this time, Nathaniel?"

The use of my full name almost makes me laugh. Almost.

"Want to hang out?" My voice sounds hollow even to me.

"Does this version of hanging out involve kidnapping or stealing a car?"

"You're funny."

"Well, the last time we hung out, you beat the shit out of a guy right before I dropped you off at the police station, so I just need to know what I'm in for this time." There's no judgment in his tone, just that unwavering acceptance he's always shown me.

Jay's silent for a moment, and I can practically see him weighing his next words. "You good man?"

"No." The honesty surprises even me. "I just… I don't want to be alone right now."

"Where are we going?"

"Meet me at Furlo's? That bar just outside town?"

"The sketchy one by the old gas station?" There's no judgment in his voice, just that unwavering acceptance he's always shown me. "See you there."

Hours later,I push through the heavy door of Furlo's. The bar is a study in shadows and secrets, dimly lit and heavy with the kind of silence that swallows confessions whole. A jukebox in the corner bleeds old country songs into the stale air. It's the kind of place where people come to disappear, and tonight, that suits me just fine.

I slide onto a stool, nodding at the bartender. The worn wood beneath my fingers feels like every bad decision I've ever made.

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