Page 99 of Before We Were

The buzzof adrenaline is still thrumming in my veins. The team won today, but that high comes crashing down the second I step inside the house. The living room is destroyed with furniture overturned, glass shards glinting across the floor like cruel confetti. The stench of stale booze and something burnt hits me, and my gut twists because I already know what I'll find.

"Mom?" My voice barely carries as I move toward the kitchen. The silence screams louder than any noise could.

And then I see her.

She's curled up near the counter, clutching an empty vodka bottle like a lifeline. Her shoulders shake with silent sobs, messy strands of hair hiding her face. She doesn't register my presence.

"Mom?" I try again, louder this time, stepping closer as panic sets in. My breath catches at the fresh bruise forming under her left eye—a sickly purple testament to his handiwork. Rage surges through me like electricity through a downed power line, my fists clenching until my knuckles go white.

He fucking did this.

I kneel beside her, reaching out to touch her shoulder, to bring her back to reality. The moment my fingers graze her skin, she flinches, her body recoiling like I'm the monster. Like I'm him.

"It's okay, Mom. It's me. Nate," I say softly, each word splintering my heart. "I'm not going to hurt you."

But she's lost in her own personal hell, eyes wide and terrified, seeing past me into something I can't protect her from.

"This is never going to stop is it?" I whisper, though we both know the answer.

My throat constricts as her eyes dart around, checking if he's still here, her body trembling uncontrollably.

I was supposed to leave for college. Get out of this fucking hell I'd been living in. Play football. Build a life beyond the suffocating mess my father created. I had a way out, a future. But how can I walk away knowing he'll come back, again and again, until one day he takes it too far?

"I'm not leaving," I say, the decision settling in my chest like lead. "I'm not going to college. I'm staying here.”

Her head snaps up, panic flashing in her eyes as my words finally register. "No, Nate. No, you're not doing this." Her voice cracks, raw and broken. "You have to get out of here. I want that for you. Please..."

But it's too late. The choice is made. I can't leave Jake to fend for himself when he comes back next week. I can't leave her at Scott’s mercy.

"I can't leave you like this. Look what happens when I'm not around. This, Mom. This."

She grabs my hand, her grip weak but desperate. "Nate, you're supposed to make something of yourself. Don't throw that away for me. Please, baby." Tears cut tracks through her mascara, but I'm already lost to the decision I can't take back.

I'm angry.

So fucking angry.

The emotion burns through me, directed at him for being the piece of shit he is, at her for staying and forcing my hand. The anger subsides into guilt when I see the fear in her eyes. I still don't understand why she puts up with this, why she won't save herself.

The next day at school, reality settles in.

Scott would never allow his son to be a dropout or not attend an Ivy League College. He might be a deadbeat, but he's still proud, in his twisted way. He has an image to maintain.

So I'll find another way.

By lunchtime, my mind's made up. I text Aaron, known for dealing more than just party drugs behind the bleachers. We've never spoken, but I've watched how he operates—he's got what I need.

The meeting happens after school, behind the gym. Aaron leans against his car, wearing a knowing smirk.

"Never thought I'd see the day the captain of the football team comes running to me." His voice carries a hint of challenge as he pulls out a small baggie. "This shit is not like what you've smoked before, you sure you wanna try it?"

"I'm sure," I say, though certainty is the last thing I feel. All I know is I need an escape, something to dull the pressure crushing my chest.

The first hit feels like fire in my veins, but then, euphoria takes over. The burn transforms into something else entirely, wrapping around me like a warm blanket, numbing everything. Every worry, every weight pressing on my chest, evaporates like smoke. I lean back, close my eyes, and for the first time in what feels like forever, I feel... light. The moon hangs above me, half-hidden like the truths I keep buried. As the euphoria of the pills Aaron gave me takes full control, I sink deeper into the ground, letting it swallow me whole. It's not Earth anymore—it's absolution, soft and endless, pulling me under. I can't tell if I'm falling or floating, but for once, I don't care. I want to disappear into this nothingness.

Her name comes to me through the haze.

The thought of her pulls me back, even just for a moment. Those big beautiful eyes that are so full of life with a smile to match. The way she laughs when she thinks no one's watching. My heart clenches because it beats for her.

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