Page 39 of Scotch & Dreams

"Let's just say I deserved it and leave it at that. To be honest, I think I needed it. I've been thinking long and hard since. I dinnae want to go back to that old way of being. It's no' who I am anymore. I am no’ going to see those guys again. I ken they are bad news. I want to be a better man. I dinnae like who I became.”

Orlagh wiped the tears that kept coming with the back of her hand. She was so relieved her brother was finally back and wanted to be the good guy she always knew he was deep down. “I’m proud of ye, Drew.”

He shook his head as if he didn’t think he deserved her praise. “I huv a lot to make up for. I ken that.”

Orlagh nodded.

“I plan to connect with the guys from the band. See if they want to jam again. I want to make things right in my life and with my family.”

The band had always been a good thing for Drew, despite the racket they used to make. Music was something that always made him truly happy.

Orlagh could see that there was still much unsaid, though. “Drugs?” she asked, fearing she knew the answer.

Drew swallowed hard. “Aye.”

"No more drugs?" she asked nervously.

“Nah, I’m clean. I willnae ever go down that path again." His voice was quiet, but she could hear the conviction in his words.

Orlagh smiled lightly. “Ye do seem different. In a good way,” she added. “Are ye back to stay then?”

He chuckled, and it made her heart feel lighter to hear it.

“I dinnae ken, honestly. There are a lot of paths to mend, and some that I’m no’ sure can be. I hope so, though.”

Chapter 24

Shit Hits the Fan

Afterafewfruitlesshours at work, Lachlan drove the quiet, narrow road of the coastline, hoping to clear his head. He knew Orlagh meant well, but she’d struck a nerve. Between his traitorous thoughts and his sister’s words beating through his mind, he struggled to think clearly about anything. He cranked The Beatles—a pleasurable torment. The Beatles’ music might forever remind him ofthat timehe spent a damn-near perfect evening with the most beguiling woman.

It was early evening when he finally unlocked his front door, and Sally greeted him, shimmying so aggressively it defied her size. He bent down and ruffled her ears as he let his forehead rest for a moment on hers. He could always count on Sally—faithful girl. “Come on, Sal. Let’s go for a walk.”

Lachlan chucked a ball down the deserted stretch of beach, and Sally bolted after it, kicking up sand and water in her wake. The storm that had threatened passed, and the sun peeked out just in time to kiss the sea good night.

Lachlan breathed deeply, the familiar briny sea air helping set him at ease. After Helena died, he spent many hours walking along the beach, trying to come to terms with the loss. As time went on, he realized he’d never get over losing her. None of his family would, but they learned to live with the loss. There was the life they led before Helena died, and the life they led now that was vastly different—and yet so much remained the same. How odd it was to be the same person after a loved one's death and yet be so utterly changed at the same time.

In the beginning, every day was an impossible battle. Lachlan would work or be cooking dinner, and in brief moments, he’d almost forget. Then, suddenly, reality would strike. She was gone, and then the grief would wash over him again as if he’d not yet grieved at all.

As soon as he felt his wounded heart was healing, something would remind him of her, of the life lost, of the hollow left behind, and it was as though his heart was flayed open yet again. But as time marched on, his heart managed to hang onto the healing for longer periods. The lashings to his heart became less frequent, although no less painful. He missed her. What he wouldn’t give to talk to her right now.

What would Helena think of Violet? He knew—she would’ve liked her. Violet was so real and spirited. Helena would’ve appreciated that about her. He picked up Sally's ball, throwing it far down the beach again and watched her bound after it in the evening twilight.

And what of Anna? Would Helena have liked her? He knew the answer to that, too.

"Come on, girl. Let's get ye some supper," Lachlan called to Sally. As they made their way back to the house, Lachlan made the decision. It was time to end things with Anna. Maybepasttime.

She'd messaged him before he’d met Orlagh for lunch, saying she was planning to be back tomorrow. Lachlan decided that he would meet with her and end it. He didn't relish the idea of breaking up, and he hoped there would be no hard feelings. But with every step he took, his resolve fortified.Aye, this was the right decision.

In the quarter of an hour it took to get back to the house, Lachlan's mind had started to buzz with plans for a side project he'd taken on but hadn't been focused on as of late.

Before Helena had died, she spent much of her time giving riding lessons to kids. She used to talk about wanting to open up a horse sanctuary of sorts for children. A place where they could be around horses and learn to ride. She especially wanted it for the kids who would not otherwise get the chance. She often talked about the effect of the horses on the children. How even the kids with attitudes would warm up and seemed to find a sense of connection, spending time at stables. Helena was right. Horses were therapeutic and not just for kids.

Years back, he'd had the idea to build the sanctuary Helena had dreamed of. He’d been so busy with the distillery that it had just idled in the back of his mind until a few months back.

Orlagh had been babysitting her friend's five-year-old daughter and brought her to see the horses at his house. She was only a wee thing and had been nervous of the big beasts hiding behind Lachlan with the back of his trousers fisted in her little hands. Not that he'd admit it, but the gesture melted him. He scooped her up with reassuring words and watched as the child followed his lead, putting a hand on Edelweiss's snout.

In no time, her little confidence grew, and by the time Orlagh took her home, she was begging to stay with her newhorsey friends. As he watched the little girl looking longingly out the window from the backseat of Orlagh's car as she pulled away, Lachlan knew it was time to start building Helena's dream. Ideas flooded his mind so steadily that he barely slept for the better part of two weeks. Around that time, he started seeing Anna, and as much as he was still working to get it going on the side, he'd lost his focus.

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