Page 90 of Scotch & Dreams

"I ken, and Christ, how I wanted to kiss ye back," he said.

She stared at him as he utterly missed the point. She rolled on her back, and he propped his head in his hand and used his other hand to lift her chin to look at him.

"I ken it was wrong of me not to tell ye about Anna. And I struggled that night with my own morals. It was not a situation I'd ever found myself in before. I was already realizing that I didn't want a relationship with her anymore. And then ye fell into my world, and it was like a piece of me I didn't ken existed came alive. I dinnae how to explain it. It’s like I'd been living my life in a steady hum drum state of black and white, and then ye pulled back the curtain and revealed the most vibrant, beautiful colours. Ye showed me a world I didnae ken existed.”

Violet's eyes felt misty as she listened to Lachlan finally talk openly with her.

"Anyway, the day ye left, I made the decision to end it with Anna. I didnae expect her back so soon from France, but she showed up unannounced and apparently came up here to surprise me, but she must have seen your note. When I got to the room, she basically accused me of cheating, which physically I had not, but I ken that my heart had."

He stroked his fingers over her collarbone, and Violet could barely breathe, never mind speak. It was a lot to take in. There was something gratifying in knowing she hadn't been wrong—he'd felt something that first night together too..

"There was a part of me, though, that also understood that Anna never had my heart in the first place. I realized that what we shared was surface level—there was no depth to it. Anyway—either way—I should huv been honest with ye that night and told ye about her."

Violet wondered what that night would have been like if she had known about Anna. Would it have changed the connection she'd felt with Lachlan? "You should have told me," she said.

"Aye," he agreed.

"But.."

His eyes snapped to hers. "But?" he coaxed her to continue.

"I understand why you didn't and—this may be wrong—but a little piece of me is… glad I didn't know." Violet squeezed her eyes shut, a wave of guilt washing over her at her confession.

She felt Lachlan trace her lips with his finger and she opened her eyes to see his gaze fixed on her mouth. "I doonae think ye would huv put these lips on mine if ye'd known, and that, V, would huv been tragic."

Violet warmed at his words. "So you approved of that kiss? The one where you didn't kiss me back?"

"Och Christ lass, that kiss…" His voice trailed off, and he closed his eyes as if replaying it in his mind's eye. "That kiss is burned on my soul for all eternity. Not Kissing ye back was probably the hardest thing I've ever done."

"I'm actually kind of impressed that you didn't," she chuckled. "At least you tried to do the right thing—sort of."

"Och, I fought against myself, believe me. I ken I shouldnae huv wanted ye so badly, but I did. I felt things fer ye I had no business feeling, but I couldnae help it—ye bewitched me."

Violet giggled. "Cast my spell, eh?" She nipped his finger playfully.

"Aye, ye did." He stroked her cheek, then after a moment, continued telling her what had happened with Anna.

"She assumed I'd been unfaithful, and in a sense, I felt like I had." He sighed. "She took the opportunity to confess that she'd cheated on me while she was in France.”

"Nooo." Violet was shocked. "That's awful.”

"Ye'd think so, but the irony of it was that I really didnae care. When I look back, I dinnae even ken how we had a relationship at all. It was just a parade of restaurants and dinner parties. She didnae ken me at all, and I didnae ken her. It was like we were just going through the motions of being a couple. There was no substance.”

Violet had had a couple of boyfriends, although nothing serious, but she could understand the sentiment of what Lachlan was saying. She'd never felt anything toward those men that even came remotely close to what she felt for Lachlan.

"Anyway, Anna somehow considered us to be even and decided that we should move forward and 'take our relationship to the next level.' I'm tellin' ye, V, it was unfathomable to me. I thought she was half crazy. Anyway, it didnae go well. I waited downstairs for her to come down and leave.”

"And that's when she took my note," Violet finished.

"Aye, she must huv. I should huv contacted her to get it back, but—"

"I wouldn't have either," Violet cut him off. "When you close a door like that, you don't want to crack it open again for anything.”

He smiled down at her. "Aye. But I confess, I wondered many times what ye wrote me.”

She grinned. "Nothing all that exciting, but I did leave you my number. I hoped that I would see you again." She sighed and bit her bottom lip. "Why didn't you try to connect with me again? Especially since you'd broken it off with Anna. I know you didn't have my number, but you knew where I was staying.”

Lachlan ran his finger slowly along her chin, looking down at her lips like they might provide an answer. "It is a fair question. I did think about it. The thing is, ye literally rocked my world. Ye changed it. I felt alive again, inspired again. It was why I got things moving with opening Highland Haven. It's like I was finding myself again. And then there ye were again, back in my world. Ye found me.”

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