Page 35 of Kneel for Me

Once we were in the bathroom, I set him on the wooden bench seat in his shower, then turned the water on. Keeping one eye on him in case he slumped over and began to fall, I quickly began to strip out of my clothes, leaving them in a bloody pile on the floor. Then, I stepped into the shower and worked on rinsing the blood from Adrian’s skin as he softly snored, his head resting against the wall. Bathing him was a little bit harder of a task, but I managed it without his help, considering the man wasn’t waking up in the slightest. He’d crashedhard—harder than I’d ever seen someone crash before.

I made quick work of showering myself, then turned the water off and snatched a towel off the rack above the toilet. After drying off, I set to work on drying Adrian. And then, I pulled him off the bench seat. He moaned in protest, his head dropping to rest against my shoulder. I sighed. “Come on,kotik. Stay awake long enough for me to get you to bed, okay?”

“Mmmm,” he mumbled, but he managed to put one foot in front of the other, dragging his feet all the way to his bed. He fell onto it unceremoniously, leaving me to turn his massive body and situate his limbs until he was beneath the blankets and lying properly. Sighing, I went back to clean up the bathroom and shove my clothes into a trash bag. After scrubbing the bathroom clean, damn near choking myself with the scent of bleach, I turned all the lights off and slid into bed next to Adrian.

As if he sensed me near, he rolled over and burrowed his face in my chest, slinging one heavy thigh over my legs and draping his muscular arm over my abdomen. I dropped a kiss to the top of his head and wrapped an arm around him, folding the other one beneath my head.

“Goodnight,kotik,” I murmured, letting my eyes slide shut.

My stomach rumbled to remind me I still hadn’t eaten, but I ignored it. Sleep was a hell of a lot more important.

And protecting Adrian when he was this vulnerable was my top priority.

28

Adrian

Iwas sprawled out on top of Ivan’s body when I woke up. My head was resting on his chest, and I’d twined my limbs around him like a spider monkey. And the worst part, I’d apparently drooled, and there was a small puddle on his shoulder. But he didn’t seem to mind. He just began playing with my hair when he noticed I was a wake, a small smile quirking at the corners of his mouth. “Hey,kotik,” he murmured.

“Hey,” I rasped, rolling away from him and wiping my face. Groaning, I stretched, wincing when my knee popped. Fuck, I was getting old. Every muscle in my body hurt, and my knees hurt something fierce after kneeling on that damn concrete floor for Ivan. I was going to need knee pads if I was expecting to be able to continue that shit.

“James called, but I told him you were out of it and needed some time. He understood and asked that you call him back when you’re feeling better.”

I sighed and scrubbed my hands down my face. Of course, he would understand. James was a Dom, just as I’d been. Only, come to find out, I was a switch. At least, I was for Ivan. We all understood sub drops and how exhausting they could be. And after experiencing it twice, I had a lot more respect for submissives than I used to. That shit was something else, for sure. I’d never experienced something that made me so damn tired.

Sitting up, I rubbed at my gritty eyes, then looked down at Ivan, who was still lying down. The fingers of his left hand were running across my lower back, and his other hand was behind his head as he watched me.

“What time is it?” I asked.

“A little after two in the afternoon,” he told me. “You crashed super fucking hard after we fucked in the basement.” He began to trace the knobs in my spine, making me shiver. “You need to get dressed, eat, and then, we need to talk—preferably all before you call James back.”

I frowned. “Talk about what?” I demanded. I wracked my brain, trying to remember if I did or said something last night that would require some kind of talk, but I couldn’t think of anything. Then again, everything after Ivan had damn near sucked my soul from my body was mostly a blur. Hell, I didn’t even remember showering and getting the blood off of me, but I couldn’t deny that I had, at some point, showered. The blood was gone, and I smelled faintly of my body wash still.

“Get dressed first?—”

“No,” I snapped, grabbing Ivan’s arm as he moved to get out of bed. He turned his head, arching a brow at me.

“No?” he questioned, his voice taking on that calm and collected tone I fucking hated.

“No. Neither of us are moving from this bed until you tell me what the talk is about, Ivan. What’s so damn serious that I need to talk to you before talking to James? What’s going on?”

“First, breathe,” he instructed. When I only glared at him, unable to think past all the worst-case scenarios swarming around in my brain, he wrapped his hand around my throat, pressing in just enough to make my head silence. “There you go. Breathe,kotik. Our talk is nothing bad,” he promised.

I blew out a soft breath. “Then why does itfeelbad?” I demanded before I could stop myself. I felt oddly vulnerable for some reason. We’d cleaned up the mess that had forced us together in the first place. Was he done now? It was the only thing that made sense. He’d made me feel like I could finally belong somewhere and justbe, instead of watching every move I made in fear of becoming an uncontrollable monster. Was he now about to rip that from me?

Ivan sighed. “I have to go home,kotik. I have an empire to run. I cannot stay here.”

I fucking knew it.

“So… you’re leaving,” I said, suddenly feeling empty inside. He was leavingme. We couldn’t work long-term, and I was sure I’d always known it. He was the Pakhan of the Russian Bratva, and I was James’s consigliere. We lived in two entirely different countries. Hell, we lived on differentcontinents. I had a duty to my family here, just as he had a duty back in Russia.

Neither of us could abandon those things.

“I’m giving you an… option,” Ivan said. “I am leaving, yes. But I am not leavingyou. What happens between us from here is up to you. I was patient foryearsso I could finally have you. And while I want to demand you come with me, to take away that choice from you, I can’t. It would cause a rift in the alliance I have with James, and while I want to be selfish, I fucking can’t for the sake of my family. And quite frankly, your family can’t handle that instability either.”

“So… what?” I demanded, my throat feeling too fucking thick.

“You have more options than I do. Stepping down from Pakhan this early in the game would be… detrimental to all involved. Butyouare merely James’s consigliere, and he has two others. He’s not hurting in that aspect. You need to decide which you want more: your family or me,kotik. And I cannot make that decision for you, no matter how much I want to. This needs to be on your terms, and if you choose me, then you need to work something out with your Don.”

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