Page 1 of Baking and Angels

Chapter 1

My Renewed

Beginning

His entire life, the whole thirty minutes of it, Rafferty had not known what he looked like. He had dreaded getting up off that kitchen floor where he had been born, a new and complete adult human; he didn’t want to see. He would have continued to lie there if the woman he trusted with his entire being hadn’t pulled him tohis feet.

“Rafferty, come on,” she urged, backing up until her shapely backside bumped the counter behind her. She had gotten dressed, having run into her bedroom to put on the clothes she now wore, while he had remained naked trying to wrap his head around the new facts of hisexistence.

Up until thirty minutes ago, he had been a demon, bound to hell, in a body made of unholyenergies.

Now hewas alive.

As he let her leverage him up, he immediately unbalanced. The wings that had once weighed on his back whenever he had existed in the real world were gone. His renewed body had no idea how to handle that. The world around him swam and turned upside down. Nausea flushed through, and there was nothing he could do aboutany of it.

“Woah!” Helena called out as she tried and failed to catch him. His larger being flopped against her. She staggered back against the counter, her arms coming around to catch him. His hands slapped hard as they instinctively caught his momentum on the edge of her counter, the cold stone easing into his sweating palms.As uncoordinated as it currently was,thisbody was strong. He still had a long, lanky frame, but it was also muscled and healthy. Nothing like the depleted nearly skeletal thing he had been before, even underneath the illusions he had woven. Thiswas real.

“Rafferty, try to breathe slower,” Helena urged, her arms still around him as she stabilized his shaky legs. Her hand came around, pressing against the muscles of his back, his skin sweatyand slick.

“What’s wrong with…” His mouth felt dry, and his tongue wouldn’t work properly.So much had happened so fast. He cascaded up and down various emotions like a plastic bag caught in a violent wind, upending from elation to dread to anger to giddiness to tears and everything in between. Feelings he was hopeless to completely define or understand, all happening at once. What reaction was he supposed to have?

Helena, beautiful Helena, tried to give him answers. “I… I don’t think anything is wrong with you. Just… everything has changed. I’m sure this is a normal reaction to being… alive…suddenly.”

He shook his head. “This isn’t possible… it’s….”

A miracle.

He wanted to say a miracle, but to express it out loud filled him with terror. Miracles didn’t happen. Nothing was ever given for free.What terrible price was paid in exchange for this?he thought but dared not ask. What more had he lost? What more did he stand to lose? What was left to take that hell hadn’t already strippedfrom him?

“I feel so heavy,” he said instead, and he did. He felt so solid and dense. The dulled edge of the counter pressed hard into his palms, and he lifted one of them to look at it. The indented line was so strange, so real, even asit faded.

He ran the hand through his hair and was shocked not to hit any of the horn that should have been cresting out ofhis skull.

“What’s wrong, Rafferty? Talk to me!” Helena insisted. “You were alright a minute ago, whathappened?”

“My wings… my horns…” he said. “They’re gone.”

She wrinkled her nose, clearly confused. “But Rafferty, they’ve been gone before.”

He shook his head, understanding what she was referring to. “That was just an illusion. So I wouldn’t scare you. They were always there. At least, to me.”

“But…” she huffed, struggling with this concept. “You wore normal clothes, and your wings didn’t inhibit that.”

He shrugged. “I could always feel them,” he said. It was the best explanation he had. She was right, when he had looked like a normal man, a hat set on his head would sit properly, and yet when he moved his head, he would also feel the horns shift weight.

Now theywere gone.

And he missed them…

He closed his eyes, pained. “Why would I miss them?” he asked aloud, the thoughts too loud inside to remain there.

“Changes are complicated. It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” she assured him. He wasn’t sure he believedher, but…

She felt more real, too, as his hand landed hard on her shoulder, squeezing it. He could feel her, truly feel her. Bones covered by muscle and skin and the cloth of her shirt, all so very,veryreal.

“Rafferty… are you… do you think you’re going into shock?”

He finally met her eyes. “I wouldn’t know. What’s shock?” Then he collapsed backward, flopping onto the kitchen floor, right back into the middle of the circle that had burned itself into Helena’s kitchen tiles. Though there were no traces of demonic energy, maybe just lying there was safer anyway.

---