Page 11 of Finding Us

“I know. And I love him, too. Just not the way you love Garret. And that makes me think that maybe I shouldn’t be with him.”

“You need to give it more time. Garret and I have just been through a lot of stuff together and I think that brought us closer.”

“What stuff?”

I stop to think of what to say. I can’t tell her even half of the stuff Garret and I have been through.

“Well, he lied to me when we first met, so we had to get through that. And then his dad kept trying to break us apart and then Frank was sick and then there was that whole thing with the reality show.”

“Yeah, you guyshavebeen through a lot. I see how that could strengthen your relationship. Maybe you’re right. I probably just need to give Sean and me more time.”

I’m trying to make her feel better, but I really don’t understand what she means. I know she loves Sean and I know he loves her, so I don’t know why she’s saying this stuff. It’s like she’s trying to convince herself that she doesn’t love him as much as she really does.

Even if therearedifferent types of love, it’s still love. And every relationship is different. Her love for Sean doesn’t have to be the same as the love I have for Garret. I don’t know why she thinks it does.

I’m not even sure how I’d describe the love Garret and I have, other than that it’s the type of love that is so pure and so real that I used to think love like that didn’t exist. But then I found it. At the age of 19. It’s not at all what I would’ve planned but you can’t always pick the timeline in life. I definitely didn’t think I’d get married at 19, which most people would say is way too young and a bad idea and will only lead to divorce.

In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what Frank and Ryan were thinking when I told them the news back in May. I considered flying back to Iowa to tell them in person but then I changed my mind and decided to tell them over the phone. I didn’t want to see their reaction because I knew they’d be disappointed.

And they were. I could hear it in their voices once they finally spoke after the initial shock subsided. Frank tried to act happy for me, and actually I think he was okay with the engagement. He just didn’t like the wedding date. He kept asking me why the wedding had to be this summer instead of next summer, or after I graduated from college, which was his preferred timing.

Then Ryan complained because the wedding’s the same weekend in July that his girlfriend, Chloe, will be out of town. She and her friends are going to Jamaica for a week, a trip they’ve been planning for a year and have already paid for. So he’ll be dateless at the wedding.

Now that a month has past, Frank and Ryan have accepted that I’m getting married, but they’re still not thrilled with the timing of the wedding. They keep dropping hints about postponing it a year or two and I just listen and don’t say anything.

I’ve talked to Garret about this and we agreed that we can’t set our wedding date based on what makes everyone else happy. We have to do what makesushappy and what feels right for us. And getting married this summer feels like the right thing to to. Since the moment Garret proposed I haven’t even questioned my decision to marry him, or the timing of it. When I think about marrying him, I have zero doubts.

When we told Garret’s dad about our engagement, he was thrilled. Garret and I told him together via an online video chat so I actually saw his dad’s expression. He looked really happy and he had no problem with us getting married this summer. I was a little surprised at his reaction, but also relieved. Given all the trouble he gave Garret and me last year, part of me feared he might try to forbid us from getting married.

I shouldn’t think that way anymore because Pearce has changed a lot from when I first met him. He’s now very supportive of my relationship with Garret. He’s one of the few people who knows what went on last spring and I think that’s why he understands why Garret and I don’t want a long engagement.

I’ve actually come to really like Pearce, and even respect some of the decisions he made last year. I may not havelikedhis decisions, but I know that he made those decisions because he was trying to protect his son while also protecting me. He’s a good dad, and although he probably could’ve handled some things a little better the past year, he did the best he could given the circumstances.

Garret still doesn’t always get along with his dad, but things are definitely better between them. They have a long history of not getting along so it’ll take time for them to rebuild the good relationship they had before Garret’s mom died.

I’ve been so deep in thought that I didn’t even notice that Harper hasn’t spoken the entire drive back. She never goes this long without talking.

“Harper, are you okay? You want to talk about anything?”

“I’m okay. I’m just tired.” She seems lost in her thoughts so I leave her alone.

When we get home I put my stuff away, then wait on the deck for Garret. Sean said he went to the grocery store and would be back in a few minutes. I hang over the railing and gaze out at the ocean. I never get tired of this view.

I hear Harper laughing and look over and see her giving Sean a huge hug. They’re out on their deck and Sean’s cooking something on the grill. He hugs her back and kisses her, and as I watch them I can see that Sean reallydoeslove Harper the way Garret loves me. I can tell by the way he looks at her. And I know deep down that Harper loves him just as much. So why is she talking about breaking up with him? Why would she even be thinking about it? She’s so happy with Sean. Her face lights up whenever she sees him. I don’t understand what’s going on with her.

“Hey.” Garret grabs me from behind. “What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing.” I spin around to face him. My stomach gets fluttery whenever I see him, especially when we’ve been apart all day. I used to scold myself for reacting that way, but now I like it. It just shows how much I love him and how much he still excites me. I hope that feeling never goes away.

“You seemed like you were deep in thought.”

“Nope. I was just trying to see what Sean was cooking.”

“Steaks. He had them in some type of marinade all day. I just ran to the store and got some peppers to throw on the grill. We’re having steak fajitas.”

“I’m starving so that sounds really good.”

If Harper breaks up with Sean, she’s going to miss out on some great meals. Since being with him she’s had her own personal chef who makes her whatever she wants.

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