Page 14 of Finding Us

Garret’s been trying to get me to eat better since we moved in together. And with his help, I’ve actually improved my diet a lot.

“Fine. I’ll take a banana. But I still want a candy bar.”

“Deal. See you soon.” We kiss goodbye before he leaves.

When he returns we have lunch and then I spend the rest of the afternoon working on my vows, but I still don’t finish them. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me. Maybe I’m overthinking it.

That night, Harper stops over and helps me pick out something to wear to her parents’ party while Garret and Sean watch a baseball game downstairs.

“So how are things with Sean?” I ask Harper as she takes some dresses out of my closet.

She pretends not to hear me. “You could probably wear this.” She holds up the light green dress she gave me last spring. It actually came from her sister. One of Harper’s sisters is an actress and because of that, designers send her tons of clothes for free. Most of my wardrobe is now full of the stuff she couldn’t wear.

“Harper, what’s the deal with you and Sean? I know you’re not telling me something.”

She collapses on the bed next to the stack of dresses she took from my closet. “I don’t know. I’m so confused. Part of me feels like I’m stringing him along, knowing this won’t last. And I know that’s wrong, so then I think I should break up with him. But the other part of me wants to be with him more than anything. I know I’ll never find anyone who treats me as well as he does.”

“Can’t you just keep dating? I mean, it’s not like you have to decide right now if you want to marry him.”

“Yeah, I know. But he wants me to move in with him in the fall and I don’t think I’m ready for that. I mean, obviously I live with him now, but moving into his apartment seems more permanent.”

“I’m sure he’d understand if you want to stay in the dorm. Just tell him that’s what you want to do. You can still go to his apartment and stay there on the weekends. You did that all last semester and it worked.”

She sits up and adjusts her headband. “You’re right. I’m making too big a deal out of this. I guess planning your wedding has me thinking about marriage, but Sean and I aren’t even close to that stage.” She gets off the bed, taking the dresses with her. “None of these will work. We’ll just find you something to wear when we get to my house.”

“But what if we can’t find anything? I need to bring a backup.”

“My sisters have plenty of stuff. But if you’re worried about it, bring this one.” She holds out a red dress with short sleeves and red beading along the neckline. Harper gave it to me last April and I haven’t worn it yet. I take it from her and put it in the suitcase.

She hangs the other dresses back in the closet. “Let’s go downstairs and see what the guys are up to.”

We watch the rest of the baseball game with them and then Sean and Harper go back to their place.

Garret and I go upstairs and get ready for bed. It’s only 10:30, but we’re leaving at 8 in the morning, which is early for us since we’re used to sleeping in every day.

“Does Sean ever say anything to you about Harper?” I ask Garret as I change into one of his comfy t-shirts to sleep in.

“Sometimes. Why?” He yanks his shirt off and drops it in the laundry basket.

“I was just wondering what he tells you about her. Do you think he loves her?”

“Iknowhe does. And so do you, so why are you asking me that?” He kicks his shorts off and tosses them in the closet.

“Do you think he loves her enough to propose?”

“Is she expecting a proposal? Did she say that?”

I get into bed. “No. I was just trying to figure out if Sean is really serious about her or not.”

Garret lies on top of me wearing just his black boxer briefs. “You don’t need to worry about those two. Everything’s good. Now can I get a kiss goodnight?” He starts to kiss me, but I hold him back.

“When you say everything’s good, do you mean that he’s serious about her? Like he might consider marrying her?”

“Where is this coming from? Why are you so concerned about them?”

“I need to know what Sean’s thinking. Did he say anything to you that you’re not telling me?”

Garret sighs and shifts onto his side, propping himself up on his arm. “He asked me not to tell you this, but I told him I wouldn’t keep secrets from you. But if I tell you, you can’t say anything to Harper.”