Page 142 of Finding Us

He puts his arm out. “Get comfortable. It’s about to start.”

I sneak into my spot under his arm. “Thanks for letting me pick the movie. I know you hate this one.”

“I won’t be watching much of it.” He kisses my forehead. “You’ll be asleep in five minutes and then I’ll turn it off and watch sports.”

“I’m not going to fall asleep. I’m wide awake.”

“Good.” He slides farther down on the couch, making my spot under his arm even cozier. “Enjoy the movie.”

“I will.” After the first few minutes I feel myself dozing off, then jerk awake.

“You still awake down there?” I hear Garret laughing.

“Yes. Why?”

“Just checking.”

My eyelids get heavy and I can’t help it. I fall right to sleep.

CHAPTERTHIRTY-EIGHT

GARRET

I can’t sleep. I’ve been up all night thinking about how it’s going to feel to not have swimming in my life. I mean, yeah, I can still swim, but if I’m not competing on a team, then what’s the point? I’ve been on a swim team every year since I was 12 and I’m not ready to give that up.

The other reason I can’t sleep is because I keep thinking about Jade. I was a total ass to her today for no reason other than my shitty mood. I can’t do that to her. I can’t take my anger out on her for something she has no control over and knows nothing about. And I have no idea why I reacted that way about the party. I was practically yelling at her when she was asking about it which was completely out of line.

She would’ve gone to Kyle’s party and she would’ve tried to have a good time. And she would’ve done all that for me. She keeps thinking that because we’re married, I’m missing out on stuff.

I don’t know why she thinks that. I never tell her I feel like I’m missing out on anything. It’s true that I’d like to be more social but it doesn’t need to be at a party. I’d just like to find some people we could do stuff with, another couple like Sean and Harper. But I’m not sure if Jade’s ready for that. She didn’t have many friends in high school and she’s not really comfortable around new people. I’m hoping she’ll make new friends here, but it’s going to take a while. She doesn’t take rejection well, so if she tries to make a friend and the person turns her down, there’s a good chance she’ll give up trying. Then she’ll say she doesn’t need friends and spend all her time doing homework and running.

Speaking of running, she nearly gave me a heart attack when I couldn’t find her this afternoon. Who the hell runs for four hours? And if she insists on running for that long, she needs to at least tell me that and tell me where she’s going. And she needs to bring her damn phone!

I know I sound overprotective and some might say controlling, but I feel like I have to be. I have to keep her safe. Right now, this thing with the organization doesn’t seem final. Having Roth show up last July makes me think he has something planned. Maybe he doesn’t and maybe I’m just being paranoid. But Jade’s safety comes before anything else and if she, or anyone else, wants to think I’m being overprotective or controlling, I don’t give a shit. Until I know for sure they aren’t coming after her, I’m keeping a close eye on her.

“Garret?” I feel Jade’s hand on my back. “Why are you up?”

“I was getting some water.” I hold my glass up. It’s 3 a.m. and I’m sitting at the kitchen table in the dark.

“Are you coming back to bed?”

“Yeah, in a minute.”

She sits next to me. “I’ll just wait. I can’t sleep in there alone. That movie freaked me out.”

I laugh. “You feel asleep after the first few minutes.”

She leans her head on my shoulder. “Yeah, well, the first few minutes were really scary, okay?”

I kiss her forehead. “Let’s go to bed.”

As soon as we’re in there, she tangles her arms and legs with mine and falls asleep within a couple minutes. I eventually fall asleep, too.

In the morning we go to campus for my swim team tryout. I just want to get this over with. I know the outcome.

“You sure you don’t want me to go with you?” Jade reaches up to kiss me. “I love watching you swim.”

“I know you do, but not this time. Some other time, okay?”

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