Page 223 of Finding Us

So I guess this didn’t have anything to do with the organization. It was just a random crime. But I still find the whole thing really strange.

* * *

Three weeks have passedand Jade’s been so busy she hasn’t had time to worry about the shooting. She’s completely consumed with school, to the point I’m starting to get concerned. She studies all the time and then says it’s still not enough.

I feel like we barely see each other anymore. I see Jade when we’re in the car riding to and from campus, then sometimes at lunch, and then when we’re in bed at night. That’s about it.

Jade’s been struggling to keep up with her classes and it’s totally stressing her out. The other day she yelled at me just for walking in the room when she was studying. She apologized to me later but I wasn’t mad at her about it. I know she didn’t mean to yell at me. She’s just really stressed and I’m worried about her. I’ve never seen her like this. She wasn’t this way last year.

She’s taking really hard classes and she has tougher competition here so her grades aren’t as perfect as she’d like them to be. I tried to tell her she doesn’t have to get all A’s but then she accused me of thinking she’s not smart enough to get A’s. That’s not what I meant but I didn’t argue with her. I have to be careful what I say around her now. Every little thing seems to set her off.

As for me, my classes are harder than the ones I had at Moorhurst, but unlike Jade, I don’t obsess over getting A’s. I’m fine with a mix of A’s and B’s and the occasional C. I strategically place my efforts on the classes and assignments I’ll get the most out of, or what interests me the most. For example, I’m interested in finance and entrepreneurship so I put a lot of effort into those classes. I have zero interest in accounting so I slack off a little in that class. I’ll never remember that stuff anyway. And when I have my own business someday, I’ll hire someone to do my accounting.

Jade doesn’t think that way. To her, every class is important, even if it’s not in her major. She’s taking an elective psych class and she’s already stressing about a paper that’s not due until November.

When we’re home, Jade’s constantly studying. We only have dinner together a couple times a week. Instead of eating a meal, she just snacks all night while she studies. Our sex life is suffering, too. I think she wants to do it, but she’s so tired from studying she falls asleep as soon as we get into bed.

I’ve been tired, too. In addition to classes, I have physical therapy three times a week. I usually have it noon to 1, which is why Jade and I haven’t been eating lunch together. And the therapist has me doing exercises in the pool and weight training at the gym. So it seems like I’m never home, and when Iamhome, I try to spend time with Jade but she tells me she can’t because she has to study.

Things can’t keep going on this way. I need to intervene somehow but I’m not sure what to do. Jade doesn’t want to go anywhere on the weekends, or go out for dinner during the week, or watch TV at night. She’s completely focused on school. She hasn’t even talked to Harper much.

A few weeks ago Harper emailed Jade the phone number of the friend she went to high school with who lives here now. Her name is Brook and Jade was supposed to call her but she hasn’t. She doesn’t think she has time for friends, although sheisfriends with Sara, but she usually only sees her at the coffee shop between classes.

Actually, Sara’s coming over tonight for a couple hours and bringing her baby along. Jade’s getting a short lesson in baby care because she agreed to babysit for Sara next week. Sara has a job interview at an architecture firm and she needs someone to watch Caleb. She’s interviewing for a secretary job that pays a lot more than the coffee shop. Jade really wants to help Sara out so she’s willing to give up her study time to babysit.

“She’s here,” Jade says as she looks out the window. “Are you still going to the gym?”

“Yes.” I kiss her cheek. “I just need to pack my gym bag and then I’ll go. I won’t bother you.”

“You’re not bothering me.” She rests her head on my shoulder and sighs. “I’m sorry. I promise we’ll spend more time together. I just have so much to do.”

She says this almost every day and then we never spend time together. I know she feels bad about how things have been the past few weeks but she’s not doing anything to change it.

The doorbell rings and Jade goes to answer it. Sara comes in with a baby carrier and a diaper bag. I go over and take the bag from her. “Hi, Sara.”

“Hey, Garret. You staying for the baby lesson?”

“No, I’m going to the gym.”

“I’m the one who needs the lesson,” Jade says to Sara.

“Well, thanks for doing this.”

“I’m happy to,” Jade says. “I know you want to get a better job.”

“I just hope I get it.” Sara takes Caleb out of his carrier. She sits down on the couch, placing him on her knee. “So this is Caleb.” She kisses his cheek. “Caleb, say hi to Jade and Garret and thank them for helping us out.”

He’s chewing on his fingers and rocking back and forth on her leg. Drool is dripping down his chin.

Sara notices the drool. “Can one of you hold him while I get a towel?”

Jade freezes. She’s never held a baby.

“I’ll take him.” I pick him up, holding him face out, one hand under his chubby legs and the other around his middle. I bounce him up and down. He takes his hand out of his mouth and starts to laugh, more drool dripping off his fingers onto the floor.

Sara quickly wipes it up. “Sorry about that.”

“Drool happens.” I smile at Sara. “I saw that on a bib one time.”

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