Page 38 of Finding Us

Garret doesn’t respond. I’m sure he hasn’t told his dad about my fear of having kids.

His dad lets out a long sigh and his serious tone returns. “I also need to say that . . . I love you. I know I’ve never told you that and it’s another thing I regret. It’s difficult for me to say those words because my father never said them to me and I’m sure he never will. But I don’t want to repeat his mistakes.”

“I love you, too, Dad.” It gets quiet and I assume they’re hugging but I’m not sure.

I’m sitting on the floor waiting for them to finish and trying to remain quiet as tears run down my face. It’s one of those stupid crying-because-you’re-happy moments that I can’t stand, but my eyes are doing it anyway because I’m so damn happy Pearce is finally stepping up and being a good father and saying the things Garret so desperately needs to hear.

Pearce doesn’t need to give us a wedding present. This is it. This is the best gift he could’ve given us.

CHAPTERTWELVE

I hearnoises and it sounds like they’re getting up. Pearce starts talking again. “I’m really proud of you, Garret. You turned your life around this year and you did it all on your own.”

“I didn’t do it on my own. Jade is the reason I changed. Or she was at least the inspiration that got me to change.”

“It’s funny how one person can have such an effect on your life, isn’t it?” He doesn’t wait for Garret to answer. “Actually Jade is the one who got me thinking about all of this.”

“All of what?”

“About being a better father to you and Lilly.”

“Why? What did Jade do?”

He clears his throat, then waits before speaking again. “When you were shot and lying on the floor, you should have seen her. She thought she was losing you. She was screaming, crying, begging for you to be okay. Watching her, I finally realized how much she loved you. But it disturbed me that I wasn’t reacting the same way. You’re my son and you were lying there, blood pouring from your chest, and this girl who had only known you a few months was more worried about you thanIwas. Soon after that happened, I decided I needed to talk to someone and figure out what was going on with me. But I never would’ve done it if it weren’t for seeing Jade’s reaction that day.” He pauses. “Seeing you two together reminds me of how your mother and I used to be. And although I’ll never have that kind of love again, it makes me very happy to know that you have it. And hopefully Lilly will, too, someday.”

I hear footsteps and it sounds like Pearce is leaving. “Well, I’ll let you finish packing.”

“What’s that box for?”

“Oh. Yes, this is for you. Open it.”

It gets quiet and then I hear Garret again. “Where did you get these? You told me you got rid of them.”

“Because I didn’t want you to have them. I thought it would help you move on if I told you I destroyed all the photos of her. But it was wrong of me, and again, I’m sorry. Those are yours to keep. I have some others in my office. I kept a few for myself.” He pauses. “I miss her, too, Garret. I have since the moment she was taken from us.” I hear him walking away again. “I’ll see you downstairs.”

Seconds later, the door to the bathroom opens and Garret walks in. He sees me crouched down on the floor with my tear-stained face.

He sits next to me. “So I take it you heard all that?”

“Yeah.” I crawl onto his lap and hug him. He hugs me back, taking deep breaths. We don’t say anything because nothing needs to be said. We just remain there on the floor for several minutes.

“We should probably get going,” he says.

“Yeah, okay.” I get up and grab a tissue and go over to the mirror to clean up my face. “I’m a mess. I need to redo my makeup.”

Garret stands next to me. “You don’t need makeup. You’re beautiful without it. Come on.”

We go in the bedroom and I see the box Pearce gave to Garret. It’s sitting on the bed and the top is open and inside is a stack of photos.

“Do you mind if I look at those?” I ask him. “If you don’t want me to, that’s okay.”

“I forgot that you’ve never seen her before.” Garret takes a photo from the stack and hands it to me. “That was at Easter. I was probably around 5.”

The photo shows a woman with dark brown hair that falls in loose waves just below her shoulders. She looks tall, maybe 5’9, and has on a sleeveless dress in a soft blue color that matches her light blue eyes. She has a gorgeous face, almost like a model, with a wide smile, high cheekbones, and flawless skin. She has her arms around Garret, who’s standing in front of her. He was a really cute kid. He has a grin on his face that looks both happy and mischievous. He’s wearing a suit for Easter and a blue tie that’s the same color as his mom’s dress.

“She was beautiful, Garret.” I almost cry seeing the photo, knowing what happened to his mom and how she’d be alive today if it weren’t for the organization.

“Yeah, she was.” Garret takes the photo back. “You can look at the rest later.” He packs the box in the suitcase and zips it up. “Let’s go say goodbye to Lilly.”

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