Page 74 of Finding Us

Harper just met Lilly and she already loves her. Earlier in the day, she showed Lilly her room and Lilly got so excited when she saw all of Harper’s pink clothes. Her sparkly headbands were also a hit. And Lilly really loved Harper’s nail polish collection, which is huge and all different shades of pink. The two of them are both obsessed with pink so I figured they’d get along.

As I look at everyone sitting around the bonfire I can’t stop smiling. Grace is talking to Frank, Ryan is talking to Sean, and Pearce is helping Lilly roast marshmallows as Harper assembles another s’more. And Harper’s parents are holding hands, watching the fire burn.

Seeing them all here, I feel like I finally have a family. A real family. People who care about me. I know I had Frank and Ryan for most of my teen years, but before I met Garret, I didn’t realize how much they cared about me. I used to keep Frank and Ryan at a distance, like I kept Garret at a distance. But as I started to open up more to Garret, I started opening up more with everyone. And now I can see how much Frank and Ryan love me. And I can see what a great friend Harper is, and I can accept and love Grace as my grandmother even knowing what her son did to my mom. I owe all of that to Garret. I wouldn’t be here today, feeling this way, if it weren’t for him.

I lean over and kiss him.

“Hey.” He’s holding my hand and he gently squeezes it as he kisses me back. “How’s it going?”

“Good.” I rest my head on his shoulder and smile up at him. “I like this. Everyone here together. Happy. Having a good time.”

He kisses my forehead. “Yeah, it’s nice, isn’t it?”

“Really nice.”

Everyone stays until 10, then goes back to their hotel. As I’m getting ready for bed, I notice how much more relaxed I feel now than I did last night. I had a few moments of panic today, thinking about the organization and what they might do, but then I’d get distracted by something Lilly was doing or something Frank was saying, and the panic would go away.

Pearce said Roth and those other men flew back to New York right after the meeting. I was relieved knowing they’d left town but what really helped me feel better was having everyone around me all day. I felt safe and protected. And loved.

Garret and I get into bed. I shiver a little because tonight the breeze coming in our window is chilly.

“You cold?” he asks.

“A little.”

“You want me to close the window?”

“No. I like hearing the waves.”

He reaches down and pulls up the blanket that we keep at the bottom of the bed, then slips his arm under the sheet and pulls me back against his chest. “I’m going to miss you tomorrow night. You sure you want to stay at Harper’s? Because I really don’t want you to.”

“I know, but it’ll make our wedding night more special. You’ll want me even more if you go without me for a night.”

“I can’t possibly want you any more than I already do.” He says it right behind my ear as his hand dips down under my string bikinis.

My breath catches. “What are you doing?”

“What do you think I’m doing?”

“It’s late and we have to get up early tomorrow. Don’t you want to sleep?”

“If this is my last night with my girlfriend, I don’t give a shit about sleep.”

I turn back to face him. “I didn’t even think about that. This is the last time I’ll spend the night with you being my boyfriend.”

“And I want to have sex with my girlfriend one last time.” He kisses me and I feel my body getting all hot and tingly.

“After we do it here, could we do it in the shower?” My voice is a little too eager.

Garret laughs. “I fucking love you, Jade. And yes, we can do it in the shower.”

Over the course of the night we end up doing it twice in the bed and once in the shower. We didn’t get much sleep, but Friday morning I wake up feeling full of energy. I think I’m on a high from being so excited about the wedding. I’m sure I’ll crash when it’s over but for now I’m wide awake.

The rest of Friday is a complete blur. Everyone comes over to the house late morning and we set up chairs and blankets on the beach and just hang out there all afternoon. Lilly plays in the sand. Frank takes a nap. Grace reads. Harper and her mom talk and read magazines. Garret and his dad surf. Who knew Pearce could surf? Kiefer’s out there surfing, too. Ryan attempts to surf, after a brief lesson from Garret. And I just sit and watch, taking in the scene.

Sean is the only one working, but he won’t let anyone help in the kitchen so we leave him alone. He likes to blast his music and be alone while he cooks.

It’s a fun and relaxing day but it goes way too fast. Andrew, the guy who’s marrying us, shows up at 5 and we have our wedding rehearsal, which isn’t really necessary given how small and informal our wedding is, but we do it anyway. And we let Lilly practice tossing her flower petals around.

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