Page 77 of Finding Us

I’m staring at him.

“What?” He sets the glass down. “I’m getting my fruit in for the day.”

I shake my head at him just as his phone rings. It’s his dad telling him what time he’ll be over. And then Harper’s phone rings and then Sean’s. And from that moment on, there’s a flurry of wedding day activity.

Sean’s restaurant friends come over and get to work on the food. The company we hired to set up the outside arrives, and the florist brings the flowers over.

Before I know it, it’s late afternoon and Harper hides me away in her room, telling Garret I’m hers until the wedding starts. While Harper does my hair and makeup, Kelly and Lilly hang out with us. Kelly paints Lilly’s tiny fingernails and toenails a bright, bubble-gum pink. Lilly picked the color. She’s so excited about it Kelly can barely get Lilly to sit still long enough for her to paint all 10 fingers and toes.

If Katherine found out we did this, she’d totally freak. Lilly’s never had her nails painted because Katherine thinks nail polish on children is tacky and inappropriate. But Katherine’s not here and I checked with Pearce before we did it and he was totally fine with it.

Later, Kelly helps Lilly put on the pink dress we got her and the little white sandals. Then she uses a curling iron to curl Lilly’s normally straight blond hair. She looks so cute. She’s like one of her little dolls. I make Harper take a photo of her with my phone and then she takes one with hers.

“I’m just like a princess!” Lilly says, twirling in front of the mirror. The dress has a knee-length skirt that flares out as she twirls.

She comes up to me. “You look like a princess, too.”

“Yeah, we all do. We all have pretty dresses.” I’m now in my wedding dress, sitting on a tall stool while Harper messes with the pins in the back of my hair.

Lilly’s staring at me. “You look really pretty.”

“Thank you. You look pretty, too.”

Kelly takes Lilly’s hand. “Let’s go get your flower basket.”

Harper waits for them to leave, then says, “She’s so cute. I have to go visit her when I’m back at school. You think Pearce would let me babysit?”

“Yes, but Katherine won’t.”

“Don’t talk about her today.” Harper comes around to face me. “I want you to only have happy thoughts.”

Harper’s wearing the pale pink chiffon bridesmaid dress I got her. It has tiny straps at the top and is fitted at the waist with a simple satin sash. It has a loose, flowing skirt that ends right at the knee. She’s wearing her hair down but has a headband holding it back so her hair doesn’t blow in her face during the ceremony. It’s a thin, crystal-covered headband that she bought just for today.

“Okay, you’re all set.” Harper helps me off the stool and turns me toward the mirror. I smile when I see my reflection. I never imagined how I would look on this day because I’d never given it much thought. But everything came together perfectly. Harper did my makeup just like I wanted it, soft and natural. My hair is pulled up off my face and shoulders, but I like that it’s not pulled too tightly. I didn’t want it to be stiff or overly formal. I wanted it to be more casual, like it should be for a beach wedding. Harper hands me a small mirror and I turn to see the back of my hair, gathered in a loose knot, the sparkly clip from the bridal store placed just above it.

“Harper, you did a really great job on my hair and makeup.”

“Thanks. And that lady did a great job on your dress. It fits you perfectly.”

She’s right. The neckline, the waist, the length. The dress fits like it was custom made for me.

“It’s time, Jade.” Harper stands in front of me. Her eyes are teary but she’s smiling.

I glance at the clock by the bed. It’s now 6:45 and almost time to get married.

There’s a knock on the bedroom door and Harper answers it.

“Can I see the bride for a moment?” It’s Grace, all dressed up in a light gray short-sleeve dress, a small pink rose from the florist pinned just below her left shoulder.

“I’ll see you out there.” Harper grabs a tissue on her way out of the room.

“You make a lovely bride.” Grace comes over and takes both my hands.

“Thank you for coming. It means a lot to me.”

“I wouldn’t miss this, Jade.” She smiles. “You’re my granddaughter. My first grandchild to get married.”

When I hear her say granddaughter, the word ‘daughter’ sticks in my head and it reminds me that someone’s missing here today. My mom. On your wedding day, you want your mom there and I don’t have one. I never really did. I had a shell of a mom, her true self hidden by drugs and alcohol.

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