Page 172 of Finding Us

“I assume Garret wants the money in his own account,” Pearce says. “Is that why you’re fighting?”

“Yes. That’s part of it.”

“He’s not doing this to hurt you, Jade. Or to exclude you. It has nothing to do with you, at least not directly. I don’t mean for that to sound harsh. I’m just trying to explain where my son is coming from. He loves you. He loves you very much. And he has a strong need to take care of you. It’s what men do when they love a woman. I know that may sound sexist but Garret doesn’t mean it that way. He respects women and he respects you more than anyone. You have more money than you’ll ever need and Garret knows that. And he’s okay with it. But he also needs money that is just his own. If he wants to buy you roses, he doesn’t want to have to use your money for that. Or maybe he wants to take you to dinner and doesn’t want to have to charge it on Grace’s card.”

I sit there quietly, taking in what he’s saying. He’s right. Garret wants to take care of me. It’s important to him. He’s old fashioned that way. He knows I’m capable of taking care of myself, but he still feels the need to take care of me. And this past year, I’ve learned to let him do that. It’s hard for me. I’m all about independence and being strong and not relying on anyone, especially a guy. I used to think it was sexist for a guy to even hold a door open for me, like he thought I was too weak to open my own door. But Garret doesn’t think I’m weak. He tells me all the time how strong I am and how I can do anything. So he doesn’t do this stuff because he thinks I can’t. He does it because it makes him happy. He likes opening a door for me or taking my hand when we cross the street. And he likes surprising me with things like flowers and chocolates. That’s just how he is.

Pearce continues. “Jade, Garret didn’t take the money because he wants to go out and buy himself expensive things. He’s not like that. He’s never been one to flaunt his wealth. But he might want to use the money in other ways, such as investing in the stock market. He’s always been interested in finance and last year he built up a portfolio of investments that was doing quite well. But then it was taken from him. I’m sure he wants to try investing again. Or someday he might want to use that money to start his business. But if his business or his investments didn’t do well, he’d feel bad that he used your money.”

“I hadn’t thought about that, but yeah, that makes sense.”

“Jade, I’m sorry if I caused problems by giving him that check, but I really felt that Garret should have it. If you two decide you don’t want it, I’ll take it back. But I want you to consider what I said before you make a decision.”

“I don’t want him to give it back. It’s his, and I want him to have it. That’s not what this is about. I mean, it kind of is, but it’s really more about him not telling me how he felt.”

“Well, that’s something you’ll have to work out yourselves. But Jade, keep in mind that all couples struggle with this, not just you and Garret. Spouses don’t always tell each other everything.”

“Yes, but this is something we should’ve talked about. It’s important. It’s not something he should keep to himself. All summer, he acted like he was okay using my money. Why would he do that? Why wouldn’t he tell me?”

“Because he couldn’t fix the situation. And if he can’t fix it, there’s no use complaining about it. He was broke all summer. He had no choice but to rely on you. He told me he tried to get a job.”

“Yeah, and I told him not to.”

“You probably should’ve let him get the job.”

“I know that now. I just didn’t understand why he thought he needed one. That’s why he should’ve told me how he felt.”

“He’s not good about expressing himself when he feels weak or vulnerable. That’s why he didn’t tell anyone about his shoulder.”

“I’m his wife. He has to tell me this stuff.”

“He will. Just give him time. He’s still young.” Pearce pauses, then says, “Jade, how did you feel when Garret was the one with money back when you had none? How did you feel when he was the one always paying? I’m just curious.”

“I didn’t like it. Actually, I hated it. I felt like I had no control and—”

Wow. Pearce should be a psychologist. It just hit me that Garret is feeling the same way I felt last year.

“I think you’re ready to talk to Garret,” Pearce says.

“I am. Thank you for talking to me. I feel a lot better now.”

“Anytime, Jade. And on a less serious note, if you ever need a laugh I have plenty of stories about Garret to share.”

“Are they as funny as his candy for kisses business?”

He laughs. “Yes, his childhood was full of stories like that.”

“Then we’ll definitely have to talk later. I need to go. I’m probably like six miles from home right now and I have to run six miles back.”

“You’re running?” His tone turns serious. “Alone?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Where are you?”

“I’m on the beach.” I look around. “I’m not sure where exactly. The beach goes on forever so it’s easy to lose track of where you are.”

“Go home. Right now.” His voice is stern, forceful.

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