Page 91 of Stalker

“This time, yes, it is. That’s why your experience with the Blackwell Group is over.”

“What?”

“You heard me, Lady Butterfly.”

“You’re forbidding me from playing your games?”

“You can play Dark Nights to your heart’s desire. I’ll be happy to provide you with a subscription or the physical game if you’d prefer. However, you will not be allowed to participate in subsequent life games. Period.”

“I’m a big girl.” Somehow, I doubted my insistence meant anything.

This time, he snapped his head in my direction. “And you will not go against my rules. Do you understand?”

“Why?”

He seemed exasperated I was pushing him. “Because you’re full of integrity, Cassandra. That’s something I very much admire, but won’t bode well for you in the Obsidian environment.”

“So you’re saying what you do goes against the law.”

“I’m saying what happens goes against many beliefs about humanity and decency. Are we careful not to cross any illegal lines? Within the games themselves, absolutely.”

“But not personally.”

The way he sucked in his breath was as if he was accepting he was a very bad man. But there was so much angst in his features and pain in his eyes.

“Cassandra. My life isn’t what you need, just what you think you want. Go home. Live your life. Be a great attorney. However, you will not find what you’re looking for and even if you do, that won’t bring you peace.”

The man was ending what we’d shared. Why? It wasn’t about hiding from his past because I had the distinct feeling he wasn’t certain what he and his brothers had actually been through. The truth had been hidden from them. My guess was they’d been lied to.

“Maybe you need to find out about your past.”

My suggestion was met with a hard snort. “What good would that do? Only to confirm what I already know?”

“Maybe it’ll give you closure.”

“Maybe it will evoke the rage all over again.”

There was an unusual tension between us.

“Who was she, Wilder? Who was the single woman in your life that made you want to be a better man?”

I was certain he was going to explode, his features suddenly so stark and cold, but he almost immediately softened. “Just a girl I couldn’t save. She died in a manner no human being should suffer.”

“And you blame yourself.”

“I’m angry that I didn’t follow my instincts.”

As I moved even closer, he bristled. He definitely didn’t know me very well. I refused to take his clues that he wanted me to back off. I touched his arm and the cords in his neck were tighter than I’d ever seen them. “And you honored her by killing those responsible, but that didn’t end your pain.”

He cupped the back of my head, lowering his. Just when I thought he’d allow me to help him crush the walls he’d built until it was a fortress, he merely kissed me on the forehead.

“Go live your life, my Lady Butterfly. Know that you will always be in my heart, but eventually the ebb and flow of darkness will eat you alive. That’s not something you want or deserve.”

CHAPTER23

Wilder

Over the years, I’d wondered what it would be like to have a normal life. I hadn’t been searching for sunshine and rainbows but just being able to sleep at night without waking up sweating. Or even to be able to enjoy being around people without seeing them for what they were.

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