Page 20 of False Start

"It's only been the one time,"that I can remember, "but so far, so good."

Tiff comes to sit next to me on the couch.

"In Denise-speak, that's practically a Michelin star."

"Whatever, chick," I grumble. So I'm hard on guys. It's not like they take it so easy on us.

She bumps her shoulder against mine.

"No judgement. I wish I played it closer to the vest sometimes. Then maybe I wouldn't be in my current mess."

Agreeing too enthusiastically feels like kicking her while she's down. Instead, I put on another movie and say a silent prayer for continued drama-free dick.

Chapter nine

Cory

"Youcheatedandyouknow it," Damon complains. Henry, Noah, and I share a pointed look.

For a professional basketball player, Damon has surprisingly terrible sportsmanship. It's particularly bad today. His fuse is nonexistent, and what is normally a friendly—well,mostlyfriendly—game of flag football with the brothers felt like a grudge match.

"What gives?" Henry asks, brushing at the fresh grass stain on the back of his shirt. What he shouldreallyask is, "Why are you being such a dick, bro?",but Junior's way too proper for that.Unlike the rest of us, who are content to ignore whatever's turning Damon into a jackass until it goes away on its own, Henry prefers to face things head on,like a mature, sensible adult, he would say.Eye roll.

Hanging with Henry can be a bit like hanging with Dad sometimes, though he's definitely loosened up since he and Camila got together. Regular pussy tends to have that effect, though Henry didn't appreciate it when I pointed that out to him. Maybe he was pissed I referred to Camila as "regular pussy"?Whatever.Now he's yet another brother I'm not on the best terms with.

Damon chugs his Gatorade instead of answering.Uh oh.Something must really be wrong. Luckily, Adam will be back from his honeymoon next week. He and Damon are the closest.

"Well," Henry says when the silence turns awkward, "I'm heading back to Westchester. Mila's cooking tonight and I'm addicted to her mofongo."

"Gross, bro!" Noah jokes. "I don't want to hear about my brother's weird sex stuff!"

I laugh out loud when Henry just winks on the way to his car.Whoa!That would've gotten a rise out of the old Henry. Hopefully Camila comes to family dinner soon so I can meet this miracle worker in person.

Henry pulls into the Saturday afternoon traffic while the rest of us pack up and make our way to The Guthrie Inn. We don't go after every game—beer isn't known to help with post-workout recovery—but Damon could clearly use a drink. Despite the crowd, there are three empty stools at the bar.

"So," Noah swivels in his seat, addressing the group. "Who's next to fall in our merry band of brothers?"

Noah's met with blank stares, and he sighs dramatically in response.

"Adam's married," he explains, "Henry's woman gave Mr. Roboto a heart—"

"And a sense of humor!" I interject. Damon snorts under his breath.

"So, I ask again. Is anyone else planning to abandon theS.S. Bachelorfor the uncharted seas of commitment?" Noah eyes us each meaningfully.

"And what if it'syou?" I ask Noah, who merely scoffs.

"I have neither the time nor the inclination to pursue anything serious," he answers.

"What he said," Damon adds, though I notice it's with nowhere near Noah's conviction.Hmmm.

"And you?" Noah counters, twisting on his stool to face me. "Or did you turn it back on me so you wouldn't have to answer?"

"As if," I reply. "Do you not remember why Adam, Henry, and I are fighting?"

"You're fighting because you said something stupid," Noah says. He and Damon both chuckle when my middle finger pops up reflexively.

"More like I dared to question mankind's misguided impulse to settle down, and they both got butthurt," I say, trying to keep the defensiveness from my voice. Noah rolls his eyes and I will my fists to unclench.

---