Stepping in front of her, I block her view, and her eyes flick back up to mine.

“Get thefuckout of here.”

Her face distorts in confusion. “You said you were going to give me a ride.”

I shrug and laugh. “Yeah, well, I changed my mind. Call whoever you want. Don’t let me catch you near my room again.”

Her jaw unhinges, and she looks up at me with such pain … pain thatIcaused her. But I haven’t cared for years, and that hasn’t changed.

Right?

It can’t. I won’t let it. I refuse to become a pawn in Briarwood’s game.

Slamming the door in her face, I turn around and go back to my spot on the floor, staring at the photos of Micah as every shred of respect I have for myself falls to the ground.

He would hate who I am now, who I’ve become.

It’s probably a good thing he’s not here to see me. He’d be so disappointed.

Walking on my knees to the fireplace, I grab his photo from the mantel and pull it against my chest as I go back to the bed and fall back on it.

A dam bursts behind my eyes, and a wail tears through my chest. Rocking back and forth does little to ease the agony. Tears drop from my lashes, chin, and nose.

I don’t want to live in a world without him. I never have. I wish it had been me that night. If only I had been on that side of the sidewalk, I would have been the one to die. The way it should have been.

My neck hurts from the whiplash Malik is giving me. I don’t know whether to avoid him altogether or confront him. But I want answers one way or another because I have so many questions.

Why is he so hot and cold with me but steady with everyone else?

Why does he look at me with disgust and then attraction in the blink of an eye?

How does he know my dad?

Why does my dad want me to stay away from him?

Why the hell can’t I stay away from him?

At this point, I think I need a full-blown interrogation to get the answers I need. But I’d be lucky if he answered one question.

After last night at their house, I feel somehow even more conflicted. One second, I woke up, looking up at his wide and concerned eyes. The next, he slammed the door on me after basically telling me to fuck off.

People act the way they do because they have reasons to do so. I just want to know his. Maybe, in the end, he’s just an asshole … or maybe there’s more to the story.

I also need to get control of my life again because since I met with my dad, I feel like I’m under his thumb all over again. But I’ll start with one thing at a time, something that I might be able to make sense of.

Maybe I’ll get some advice from someone who knows Malik better than I do. At least whoever he is now.

When class is over, Blair and I hang back for a moment, both of us far too invested in our schoolwork to not finish taking notes from the board.

I finish before her. “Can I talk to you about something?”

She playfully side-eyes me as she writes. “Is it about a certainsomeone?”

I twiddle my thumbs. “Yeah.”

“Of course. I’m always here for you.” She sets her pen down and turns my way, giving me her undivided attention.

From hanging back after class before, we’ve learned there isn’t another class in here for an hour after ours, so we don’t need to rush out.