Page 17 of Love, Hate, Love

She hesitated before she said, “Just that he seems quick to fight with you. He’s so much more––raw. I don’t want to say he’s usually cold, but maybe notthatemotional?” She was shaking her head and huffing, redoing her ponytail. “That doesn’t sound any better. See? This is why I shouldn’t speak so much.”

“No, it’s okay. I get it. You aren’t trying to insult him. You just think I get under his skin.”

She pointed at me. “Yes! Much nicer way to put it.”

“After the other night? I don’t care if you insult him. We were friends once, but we just don’t get along that well now.” The silence started to spread, and I patted the ATV near me. “Okay, so let’s get these suckers revved up. Haven’t been on one in forever.”

“Yeah, let’s get going. This will be good.”

It was a beautiful afternoon, the nicest we could’ve wished for this time of year.

We rode slowly, stopping by posts that had any kind of issue. She’d call out a marker code and a certain length and I’d take notes. It wasn’t quite as invigorating as the last time I’d been on an ATV, but it was a nice change and I got to see a small portion of the ranch, which was staggering in size.

We made our way along the stream to where it narrowed, and the familiar terrain began to pull at memories I’d long ago buried.

We stopped just shy of where my old house sat across the width of the creek, and I wandered my way toward it. The paint was gray now instead a pale, chipping yellow. The yard was manicured and pristine, not overgrown with weeds and shrubs that hadn’t been trimmed in years. It was nothing like the run-down little house of old, but the sounds of the creek, the rustling of wind through the trees, were like a distant lullaby from a life I’d once lived. I still wish we’d never left.

“Hey, what are you looking at?” Missy asked, stopping beside me and then following my line of vision.

“That’s where I used to live a lifetime ago.” I sank to the ground, still staring at the house.

“So you were neighbors with Kade?” she asked, and I could see all the questions forming again.

“Yeah, we were. I spent a lot of years crossing that creek. My brother, too. Monroe is in between Kade and Alec in age. Monroe stayed in touch with Kade all these years.”

“But not you,” she said, as if trying to piece it all together.

“No, not me,” I said, the words coming out rougher than I’d intended.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Things always slip out that aren’t my business,” Missy said.

“No, it’s okay.” I patted her arm. “It’s hard to explain it all, but he thinks I tried to hurt him.”

“You wouldn’t hurt anyone on purpose. That’s not who you are,” she said.

“Thanks,” I said, and then took a deep breath, and another, surprised by how much hearing that from someone who barely knew me struck deep down.

“You two might still make up. It’s not too late,” she said, as if she were channeling Monroe.

“Maybe we could’ve, but that was before I moved here and he gave me a whole new list of things to be pissed off at,” I said, then we both started laughing.

“Yeah, he’s really been just awful lately. He’s snapping at everyone, like he caught some sort of cranky disease.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want it to spill over onto other people. I was hoping he’d keep it contained.”

“You’re not the one being mean. He’s the one who should apologize.”

I got to my feet. “Okay, I don’t want to mess up the whole day’s schedule and set off Kade about something else.”

I glanced back to the house one more time, remembering how I used to try to cook in that kitchen with Monroe, or tried to build a treehouse. It was hard to think about what life might have been like if we’d stayed.

“Do you miss that place?”

“I guess I do. It wasn’t that nice when I lived there, but it was better in a way. Then my mother remarried.”

“What happened to your dad?”

“He died suddenly when I was eight. It was a freak accident at work. He ran a small construction company. One of his guys was running a backhoe and didn’t realize my dad was right there. He swung it around too fast, and it hit my father in the head. The crew had been working together for so many years that they’d gotten comfortable and sloppy.”

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