Page 40 of Love, Hate, Love

“I do love you,” Greg said. “That’s the problem. I’m finding the whole situation too painful.”

“You’refinding this situation too painful?” How had I dated this guy for so long? How could I have been this stupid?

“Please, don’t make this harder than it needs to be. I really want us to part as friends.”

Yes,of coursehe did.

“It’s fine, Greg. I wouldn’t want to cause you anyunduepain.”

He sighedagain. “I sense sarcasm.”

“Trust me when I tell you that I agree and think this is for the best.” It would’ve been even better if he’d agreed when I mentioned it repeatedly before getting here. “I’ll let you go. I’m sure you have a lot to do.” And if I had to keep talking to him, I was either going to scream or cry.

“I’m glad you see the situation the way I do.”

“Oh yes. Bye, Greg.” I hung up on him before he could offer any more brilliant comments or insights.

I sat still for a moment as the impact of getting dumped hit me. Had I truly loved Greg? I hadn’t been sure before if I’d been going through the motions or what, but it didn’t matter anymore. He’d joined the rest of the people who’d decided it was too hard to have me in their lives.

Kade walked back into the office as I was putting the phone on the cradle, confirming my suspicions on the thickness of the door. It would be a miracle if I made it through this year with a shred of pride left.

I glanced over briefly, having a hard time meeting his eye. I got up and headed toward the door.

“You’re done?” he asked, motioning to the clock. “You’ve got ten minutes left.”

“I don’t need them.” My privacy, my career, most of my friends were gone, and now my relationship. I’d been ready to end it, and yet it was justone more thing. Everything was over for the foreseeable future and I had to wait a year to try to rebuild. If I hadn’t saved so much of the money I’d made, I wouldn’t have been able to pay the mortgage and taxes on my apartment.

I was just about out the door when Kade was there beside it.

“You okay?” he asked, somehow managing to sound sincere.

“I’m fine,” I said.

I went to open the door, and he blocked it. “You’re clearly not fine.”

I paused for a second, wishing I could go back to that girl who didn’t know any better and could fall into his arms. Would it hurt to just pretend for a minute? Take some comfort wherever I could find it?

The way he was staring at me right now, with that intense look, the way he used to…

“Move,” I said, sounding weaker than I wanted.

His eyes shifted to my lips, as if he wanted to kiss me. He was standing so close that I expected him to hug me at any moment.

My gaze dropped to the floor, and I felt his arms wrap around me. I let him. I didn’t hug him back, but I rested my head on his chest, not pulling away.

“I don’t want to fight with you,” he said.

I nodded, wishing the same, even if I couldn’t find the words right now.

“I just need to know why you cost me that loan years ago. Was it a mistake?”

I froze, and then put my hands on his chest to push away.

“What are you talking about? I didn’t ruin your loan. I had nothing to do with that loan,” I said, regretting I’d softened for even a second. Wasthatthe grudge he’d been holding against me? A loan from a decade ago?

“You repeated what I said to you to Jerry, who was giving me the loan. Why would you tell him I didn’t know how I was ever going to pay? It could’ve cost me this ranch. You knew what that meant.”

“I never repeated anything you said to me in confidence.”

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