Page 51 of Love, Hate, Love

We were only inches apart. Sometimes I forgot how tall and muscular he was until we were right next to each other. He was still as fit as ever, maybe even more so. I used to love finding every excuse I could to be in those arms. They’d been my safe place. When I was with him, it felt like nothing could ever touch me.

Now he was the one rubbing me raw. Being this close to him made me want to run fast and hard, because he was the most dangerous thing in my world. Nothing could hurt me the way he did.

I sat, just to avoid more touching. At least the crying seemed to be easing up.

“You can take the bedroom attached to the bathroom you use.”

I watched as he walked into the kitchen and eyed the door. There was no way he wouldn’t follow me out, and where was I going to go? I couldn’t leave this ranch anyway.

A few minutes later he put a cup of tea in my hands. There was no milk and just a touch of honey. He remembered how I took my tea. It wasn’t a big deal. He had a good memory, was all. He always had.

“Now I want to know what your problem is with staying here?” he said as he took a seat on the opposite end of the couch. “Forget what I said before about your coming in the house. I didn’t mean it. Iwantyou to stay here.”

My problem wasn’t just that he’d insulted me. His demanding I stay here now sort of eased that hurt, but there were other issues. There was no way around it. He wasn’t going to let me leave unless I made my objections clear, no matter how uncomfortable this situation was going to be.

“Everyone is going to talk. They’ll think something is going on between us if I stay here.”

“The heat is broken and everyone knows that. What about that situation is going to make anyone think that we’re doing anything?”

“At first it’ll be fine, but that will change if I stay here too long.” People always talked. That was life, and I had too much on the line for that kind of talk to happen.

“If things get weird we can discuss it then. Does that fix that?”

I didn’t say anything. Not because I didn’t want to, but this next problem was too embarrassing to just spit out. It shouldn’t have been, but it was.

“What? Just say it.” He laid an arm along the back of the couch and angled his body toward me, waiting for answers.

“What about the next time Melissa visits? You’ll need your privacy, and the whole situation will be too awkward.” It was bad enough having to hear her last time. I couldn’t imagine being stuck under the same roof with her for more than a few minutes.

“Melissa won’t be coming back.”

“You say that now.”

“She’snotcoming back. It wasn’t working out for us.”

For them or forhim? I’d seen her grabbing on to him like a lifeboat in a stormy sea. No way she’d willingly jumped off that boat. So what had happened? Had he realized how horribly bitchy she was, or was that just a quality that came out for my sake? Either way, it didn’t bode well for his taste in women.

“Melissa might be gone, but what about the next one? And the one after that?”

“I won’t bring them here.”

There was no way that he’d be able to hold to that agreement. No. Way. Why would he possibly do that for me?

My stare must’ve said it all, because his next words were, “Can we at least call a truce for tonight? I’m tired of us hurting each other, especially when you’re already…not good.”

I looked down at my hands. “I’m not bad. I was just having a moment.” One that I hoped didn’t come back, because it had been horrific. There was no sugarcoating the meltdown I’d just had.

He didn’t argue with me, but he reached forward, dragging me into his side and then tucking my head under his chin. He wrapped his arms around me, and damned if I didn’t let him.

“For tonight, let’s just pretend we don’t hate each other, okay?”

“Fine, but don’t start accusing me of blowing up your loan, and you aren’t allowed to use this against me tomorrow,” I said.

“I won’t. I promise. I swear on everything I hold dear.”

That promise was the final blow to my wall. I stopped resisting and leaned into him the way I used to when we were both younger and nicer.

Chapter24

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