Page 94 of Love, Hate, Love

“Yeah. I have to go try to build my life back.” It was the only thing left to do. I couldn’t stay here, not withhim. I was beginning to worry that I might never stop loving him if I did. And there was no denying the ache happening now. This was utter heartbreak. “You know you can come see me? You’re my friend, and a good one, a better one than most. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

She nodded. “I get it. I really do. I just like having you around. I kind of think other people do as well.” She gave me a knowing look.

“That’s never been anything real.” Or not on Kade’s part, anyway.

“You sure? I’ve seen how Kade looks at you. I saw how he stared at you on that dance floor during the wedding. You’re telling me that was casual? Because I’m not buying it. That kind of look is what I’ve been dreaming of my whole adult life.”

I knew all about dreaming. I barely wanted to admit to myself that I’d daydreamt about how things might’ve been if I’d never moved away. Maybe we would’ve ended up married with kids? Then this morning, while I was still reeling, he said “no need to rush.”

I wasn’t letting any delusions take hold this time. I knew what we were. He’d had his fun and now he’d move on, and I wouldn’t stick around to watch him.

There was a knock at the door and then Elijah was there, congratulating me, followed by Chuck and every other hand on the ranch, until we were overflowing out of the small cabin.

I forced a smile, tried to laugh and look happy even as my heart was dying. I was about to leave the man I loved. It didn’t matter if it seemed like the right thing, or if he deserved my love. I’d given him a part of me, and I wasn’t sure there were any take-backs where the heart was concerned.

* * *

Kade

I wason the top ridge at the edge of my property, watching the sun sink. Leah would be driving away any second, and I couldn’t bear to watch her.

“What the hell you doing all the way out here?” Alec asked.

“What the hell you doing in Montana?” I loved my brother but I didn’t want to see anyone right now, hence coming here instead of sitting on my comfortable porch seats.

“I didn’t leave after the wedding. Got holed up with a little chickee the last few days and then stumbled onto a business opportunity.” He took a seat on a nearby boulder, making it obvious he wasn’t leaving too soon. “Now why are you all the way out here?”

“Because I wanted some fresh air and everyone was getting on my nerves.”

“Because they’re all saying goodbye to Leah.”

“They’re all looking at me like I’ve been diagnosed with a terminal illness, and I’m not in the mood.” I wasn’t sure I blamed them, because Ididfeel a little like I was dying. Had since I’d gotten the diagnosis from Leah this morning.

“You do seem a bit morose.”

“I’m fine. Nothing is different. I’m as good as I was before.” I’d have to be, because what else was there to do? She wanted to leave and I had a ranch to run.

“You’re really just letting her go like this? Are you even going to put up a fight? You fight like hell when it comes to the ranch, to business. But when it comes to love, man, you run faster than anyone I’ve ever seen.”

“This isn’t running. It’s knowing she deserves better.”

“She might deserve better, but what if she wants you?” He laughed.

“You’re a dick.”

“Well, we are brothers. Hard to completely escape that gene pool. But seriously, don’t let her go.”

I turned to him and said, “I’ve done the wrong thing with her for months, years if you think on it. I’m trying to do the right thing for once.”

Alec nodded and then handed me a flask, which I took.

I wasn’t sure what had hit him so hard, but for one of the first times in my life, I’d managed to shut him up without punching him.

Chapter42

Leah

I staredout the window at the city I used to love. There was a time that I’d sit in the chair by the floor-to-ceiling windows and stare out at the skyline for hours. Now I looked out and all I wanted to see was the sun rising over the mountains, or the sound of the roosters calling everyone to work instead of an alarm. I wanted to sit on the porch with the fresh air blowing through my hair instead of the HVAC kicking on.

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