Page 37 of Betraying Korth

“May I accompany you back to your room?” he asked, rearranging his features back into calm passivity.

I looped my arm into his, but my steps were slow as I continued to watch the rainstorm at every passing window. If only I could prolong my time with Korth, unburdened by the weight of my treasonous mission. As things were, I couldn’t afford to let my heart soften. And yet…how would I ever be able to find happiness amid such deceit?

“Are you well?” Korth looked at me with such genuine concern that my shame at exploiting him redoubled.

“I miss home,” I confessed quietly. “I don’t get much information, and that troubles me.”

Korth nodded sympathetically. “That would be difficult.”

“I knew less communication would happen when I came here, but it just feels particularly burdensome today. I worry about my father.” Everything felt burdensome, and I didn’t have anyone to share the load with me. It was a struggle to find the will to continue the charade when it threatened to break me more each day. “I don’t like wallowing in misery,” I hastened to explain. “But I just…I just can’t find anything to be happy about right now.”

A cool breeze blew through the corridor as the footmen ahead opened the doors for us, and Korth led me into one of the ballrooms. A shiver ran down my spine. How desperately I wished I could purge all the negative thoughts and worries from my mind. Would I be able to live with myself once all this was over?

“Tess played a gratitude game with me once,” Korth said. “Would you like to try?”

I didn’t think any sort of game would help with my current pressures. “Gladly.”

“Look around the ballroom,” Korth prompted. “Don’t say them aloud yet but think about all the things you see that are red. Count them and try to remember each one, because I’m going to ask you to list as many as you can.”

“Am I supposed to tell you why I’m grateful for each one?” I teased gently but did as he had asked. There were several vases full of tropical flowers that were a deep scarlet color, as well as the wings of a bird depicted in a tapestry hanging on a wall, and the cuff links on Korth’s sleeves. The longer I looked, the lengthier my list became, and I did my best to remember each one. My shoes had some red, and I could even claim bits of the candle’s glow did as well. As I continued to search, more and more red popped out at me, until I knew it would be a useless cause to remember them all.

“Now close your eyes,” Korth told me.

I did so and prepared to regurgitate as many of the items I’d spotted as possible.

“Now, without opening your eyes, tell me all the blue things that are around us.”

I kept my eyes closed but furrowed my eyebrows into one long line. “You mean red?”

“No. I mean blue.”

“That isn’t what you told me before!” I protested. “You told me to look for red.”

“Try anyway.”

I struggled to think. “The rainclouds outside were a little blue, and my dress is.”

“Good. What else?”

The only things I could visualize were the red things that I’d spent so much time committing to memory. “The sky in one of the tapestries,” I said slowly, struggling to think of anything else.

“So three. How many red things did you find?”

“Dozens.”

“You can open now,” Korth told me. He smiled as he watched me scan our surroundings, instantly finding more than ten blue things that I could have listed off. “Whatever you look for in life, you’ll find. The number of red and blue things present never changed, but your focus did. There are difficulties and struggles in life. There are always those red things, but there are also so many other things that exist in the same space. We don’t always see the positive immediately, but that doesn’t stop it from being there. We simply need to learn to find it.”

I let out a soft breath as my heart panged. “What is positive now when I’m so far away from home?”

“You’re safe. I’m planning to send two regiments of soldiers soon to aid your father, and they’ll be able to send word once the uprising is dealt with. I know it’s hard for you to be away from your family, but I’m glad you’re here. I enjoy your company and I’d like to think you aren’t averse to mine as well.”

I shot him a sly smile and murmured, “I’d enjoy your company more if Godfrey wasn’t with us.”

Korth’s ears burned bright red. “We can always find things to be grateful for. There is positivity everywhere.”

“But we mustn’t be blind to the injustices people suffer.” It was all well and fine for a prince to claim that positivity was everywhere, but for those of us struggling to even put bread on the table, positivity wasn’t even a priority. Survival was.

“That is also true,” Korth said, nodding. “Simply because I don’t see the injustices doesn’t mean they aren’t there. That is why I have a system of advisors whose job is to uncover those flaws in my kingdom and report back to me. I can’t be in a hundred places at once, but I can take reports on them. I don’t want to ever be so blinded by my station that I forget that everyone matters.”

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