Page 52 of Highway To Destiny

We heard a door open by the restrooms, and Eli quickly said, “You need to talk to him. Let him know how you feel. It might be scary, but he needs to know.” He gave me a wink and went to the other end of the bar. I wasn’t sure if I felt reassured by his advice, but I knew Mason and I needed to discuss our future at some point.

I gave Mason an apprehensive smile when he walked back, and I finished off what was left of my beer. Eli had already meandered down the bar before Mason sat back down. I threw a pointed thumb towards Eli.

“I like Eli,” I said. “I can see why you two are so close.”

Mason nodded. “He’s like a brother to me. We’ve been through a lot together.”

Mason saw I was ready to leave since we’d been there over two hours, and my butt was falling asleep, having sat for so long. Mason took care of the tab, and we said our goodbyes to Eli. We promised him we’d be back before we headed out of town.

We had less than two weeks before I needed to return to university, and our route would be taking us up through Oregon to Portland. I was happy I’d be able to visit Mom before classes started. I’d decided to take the bus back to EOU from Portland so Mason wouldn’t have to take me to La Grande. Mason was headed up the interstate to Bellingham by the Canadian border anyway for a scheduled delivery that had been added to our trip.

Throughout the summer, Mason and I had chatted about the strained relationship between my brother and me—he convinced me I needed to clear the air with him. Unfortunately, Mom said Kyle would be on a camping trip with his friends when I got to Portland. The timing of my arrival and his leaving only pushed us further apart as time wore on, and it haunted me. I now had two very important conversations to have. My brother was one, and the other was telling Mason I’d fallen for him.

I had more than fallen—Iwasin love with him.

33

MASON

The following weeks turned my mood sullen. I missed having Connor by my side. I’d dropped him off in Portland the last week of August, and it was difficult to say goodbye. I did get the chance to see Sharon, his mother, again, and it was a heartfelt reunion to watch the two of them. I couldn’t stay more than a few hours because I needed to pick up some freight in Vancouver, Washington, just north of Portland, before it got too late. I had numerous stops along the I-5 corridor, which was good. It kept my mind and body busy and wouldn’t let me dwell on Connor too much.

During our visit after I dropped him off, Connor and I acknowledged our first anniversary since our chance meeting. Thinking about that rest-stop encounter, I realized how much we’d shared in one year. It had gone by so fast, but we toasted it with beer and the grilled chicken Sharon had prepared for our arrival.

Having had Connor at my condo and him having met Eli, I knew I wanted to share my life with him. That visit to Crescent City solidified my feelings. He captured my heart, and I knew I was in love. The only caveat was how he felt and if he wanted to share his life with me.

I was able to call and chat with Jack and Sylvia one night when I was on the outskirts of Seattle. They started by asking how things were going, and I shared about the spring and summer with Connor. Not being subtle, Sylvia wanted to know more about how I felt and if I’d started living a life outside my job. I decided it was time to let them know about my feelings for Connor. I took a deep breath.

“I know I was a little evasive in not telling you too much about Connor when I saw you both last Christmas,” I started out saying. “I’ve realized after spending quality time together that I’m bi. I never considered any romantic relationship with a man until he entered my life. My love for your daughter was whole and true, but after all these years and having been with him, I’ve fallen stupidly in love again. It’s so different, but it feels right.”

I waited for their reaction, but all I heard was silence. I closed my eyes and waited for a tirade of unacceptance and confusion. I didn’t expect the reaction I received.

Sylvia spoke first. “Mason, Jack, and I could tell something was going on with you and how you talked about Connor. We’d discussed it after your visit before Christmas last year. Your voice held tenderness, and you spoke of him with awe. He took hold of something in you. Call it a mother’s intuition, but I knew you felt something for him.”

When I heard her words, a sense of relief washed over me. My throat tightened, and the tension I held in my shoulders eased. Then Jack spoke.

“Listen, Son, our lives may take different directions, and yours certainly has, but we want you to know you will always be a part of our lives—you’re still considered family. Your next step is what you plan to do with this and the chance at love you’ve been given. We want you to know you will always have our support, whatever you decide to do or wherever life may take you.”

All I could do was listen as tears filled my eyes. Their acceptance and love meant everything to me. I felt like a sap with happy tears running down my cheeks. I hadn’t opened my heart in so long, it felt foreign but freeing at the same time. The armor around my heart had cracked open because of a young man with emerald-green eyes.

I composed myself, then thanked them. We continued with small talk for a bit, but before we said our goodbyes, Sylvia reminded me to keep in touch, and I planned on doing just that. When I hung up, I pulled out the small bottle of bourbon I kept in my rig, and since I was done driving for the day, I poured a couple of fingers into my travel mug and dialed Connor’s number.

He answered on the first ring, calling me ‘Daddy.’ He knew it was me, but I couldn’t form words.

“Mason?” he asked with a concerned lilt a second time.

“Hi, baby,” I replied. My voice was shaky and came out weak.

“Wha…What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, babe. It’s…I just got off the phone with Claudia’s parents. When I saw them over the holidays, they insisted I keep in touch. I haven’t been good at doing that.” I took a deep breath and a deeper sip of bourbon. “They’re incredibly supportive people. It was just a deeply moving conversation. I shared with them about our year together.”

I don’t think Connor had ever seen or heard me get emotional before, other than during sex, and that was just passionate expression. Hearing my voice without visual context probably came across as alarming.

“Listen,” I said. “I needed to hear your voice and ask how things were going. It’s been a few days since we’ve chatted, and I miss you.” We normally texted or called each other daily, or at least every other day, to stay connected.

“I miss you too,” he said sadly. “I think summer spoiled us, and we’re both feeling a little sad and lonely because of it.”

I decided to lose my melancholic funk and changed the subject. “How’s Spencer, by the way? You haven’t told me how his summer went in Boise with his friend.”

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