MASON
There was a sense of peace I’d never experienced before. I felt calm and amazingly pain-free. I couldn’t tell where I was, but it was bright. I seemed to be in a white space that went on forever. I couldn’t make out anything distinct, and I seemed to be alone. My vision was obscured from seeing very far, but the wispy clouds around my feet gave the space an ethereal feel. The only sound I heard was my name being spoken, like a siren's call, but from no apparent direction.
As the voice became clearer, I recognized it as one from my past. I took in the space around me and turned around. Suddenly, the personification of the voice I recognized stood before me. It was my late wife, Claudia.
All I could think was that I’d fallen asleep, and I was dreaming. I’d had many dreams of her over the years, and I chalked it up to her visiting me like she had before, but this dream felt different. It was more vivid, not disjointed or broken, as many of my previous dreams had been.
As she approached, I took in her beauty. She held a vibrancy, a youthful glow, the same I had witnessed before cancer had ravaged her body and taken her from me. I couldn’t speak as she came forward to take my hands. She stepped back and continued to hold my hands gently, and I stared into her emerald-green eyes, the ones that had captivated me more than two decades ago. The same eyes I saw when I looked at the man who had recently captivated my heart.
“Hello, Mason,” she said as she smiled. She laid a hand on the side of my face, and I leaned into it. I stared at her in disbelief, unable to respond.
Her voice was reverent with a slight air of authority. “You probably have some questions, and I can answer them, but there are a few things I’d like to tell you during our brief time here together.”
Brief time together? I don’t even know what to ask her or if this is even real. Is this heaven?
“I sense you’re confused, but rest assured, you won’t be,” she said with conviction. “I’ve been watching you over the years, the loneliness you’ve experienced since I left you. Since I left us. The years of pain and how you shut your heart off from ever wanting to experience love again. I never wanted that for you. I wanted you to move on and find love again. You haven’t been living a full life until recently.”
“I’m confused…but where are we? How have you been watching me?” I asked, not comprehending what was going on. As I stood in front of her, the pain I felt from losing her years ago began to resurface.
Claudia smiled and said, “We’re sort of…in-between. It gives me the opportunity to share something from my past that I’ve never shared. I’m sure once I explain, things will be clearer for you. As for watching you, let’s just say there’s more than the one dimension we experience in our existence.” She paused. “I know you’ve recently found someone who’s helping you live again. Call it fate or destiny, but when you gave a young hitchhiker a lift, that one gesture was the inception of your life beginning to change.
I was even more confused after the last thing she’d said. “So, you’re aware of him? How did fate or destiny play into it?” I asked.
“Oh, sweetheart, of course, I was aware of him. There’s a reason he came into your life,” she said as she squeezed my hands. “Let me get to what I should have shared with you years ago.”
She stepped back and clasped her hands in front of her. “When I was fifteen years old, I was raped and became pregnant by a boy I’d gone on a group date with. He asked to walk me home, and that’s when he assaulted me. We were still in high school, but as soon as his family knew what he’d done, they skipped town. My parents were devastated and wanted to have them found and prosecuted, but I didn’t want to deal with the shame. After pleading with them, they supported my decision. I decided to have the baby but put it up for adoption. We all knew I was too young to be a mother.”
I was stunned and interrupted her. “Why didn’t you tell me that had happened to you?”
“I was planning to at some point, but as time went on and our relationship grew, I thought if I told you, I’d lose you. I felt I’d be considered damaged goods, and you wouldn’t want anything to do with me. Stupidly, that’s why I kept it a secret.”
“I could never have left you. What happened wasn’t your fault,” I replied in earnest. “You were the love of my life.”
“I didn’t want to burden our budding life with my past, Mason. I thought it would be best for us to keep moving forward and build our lives together without the baggage I carried. By the time I was diagnosed with cancer, I knew my secret would die with me, so I stayed silent.”
On some level, I could understand. Claudia was never one to dwell on the past and always looked to the future. “Okay, so what does this have to do with Connor…and how destiny plays out?” I asked, wanting her to continue.
“The baby was born when I turned sixteen, and like I said, we decided it was best if I put it up for adoption. My parents were close friends of a woman who ran an adoption agency in Portland, and they felt it best to have the baby placed with her, knowing she’d find the perfect family. It was all figured out before I’d even given birth. My parents and I headed down to Portland once he was born, and although it was difficult for me to give him up, I knew it would be best if a loving family adopted him.”
“So, you had a baby boy?” I asked.
“Yes, a baby boy,” she said. “He was adopted by a Portland police officer and his wife, who wanted a newborn to add to their family. They already had a biological son, so my son became his younger adopted brother.”
I felt my stomach tighten, and suddenly, my heart began to pound. It was inconceivable to think it was just a coincidence. What were the chances that her baby boy turned into the man I had now fallen in love with? I’d met this family.
She noticed that when she revealed her past truth, it struck me like a bolt of lightning. As I stood there, I started to mentally calculate dates, ages, and events of all our lives.
Everything fit. Claudia and I meeting in college and getting married a couple of years after we graduated. We were married for fourteen years until she passed away. Ten years later, I met a twenty-two-year-old on his way to college whose hometown was Portland.
It’s his emerald-green eyes! Connor’s green eyes. I could see Claudia in them. She’s still a living part of my life. Did this explain the magnetic attraction I felt when I looked at him? What did this mean for Conner and me going forward?
I realized I was staring at her in disbelief as tears welled in my eyes. She reached for my hand again and said, “Yes, Mason, Connor was the baby boy I gave up for adoption twenty-two years ago. That is fate, my dear. It was meant for you to experience life again. You’ve been given a second chance to be with someone you’ve fallen in love with, and he’s a part of me.”
I didn’t know how to respond once she confirmed how our lives intertwined. I was shocked, but it all made sense. There was some divine reason why Connor and I had come together. The choice I made allowed fate to take shape for both of us.
Claudia brought me out of my thoughts with a question. “Did my mother ever tell you about the Red String Theory?”
I had to laugh, which brought me back from my thoughts about the revealing news she’d shared. “As a matter of fact, she did.” I was apprehensive to ask if Claudia ever felt that our threads were never truly connected or if she even believed in it.