Page 9 of Highway To Destiny

“Okay…” I started after a brief pause. “When this college student, his name’s Connor, came up to my cab door and looked at me, I was taken aback.” Eli looked at me with a furrowed brow. “He had the same emerald-green eyes Claudia had. I mean, it shook me to my core.”

With that, Eli looked at me with a wide-eyed stare. After a few seconds of silence, I looked around and saw no one was paying us any attention.

“Jesus Christ,” he said with a furrowed brow. I could almost see his thoughts go back in time as he remembered the brilliance of my deceased wife’s eyes. Everyone in our circle of friends had commented on Claudia and her emerald eyes, which sometimes embarrassed her.

My throat tightened, and my eyes pricked. Maybe it was being back in Crescent City so soon after meeting Connor. The town and my condo had suddenly become painful memories.

“Yeah,” I muttered. I looked down, my eyes filled with moisture. I took a deep breath to compose myself and let it out slowly. I blinked hard, and I looked up at Eli, and I could see the empathy he held for me. The second beer had relaxed me enough to splinter my thoughts, bringing my shielded emotions to the surface. Perhaps it was being back here where Claudia and I shared a life and the ghost of the painful memories.

I never showed emotion. I’d placed armor around my heart when Claudia died and vowed never to feel again, whether love or loss. But my memories were a precious commodity, and sometimes emotions surfaced when I thought of her. It had been ten years since death stole her from me.Fucking cancer!

Grief never ends. Like the rolling tide, it comes in waves, and you never truly get over it. You battle through and do your best to keep moving forward. There’s also no time limit. We’re all subject to death’s sting at some point, our parents, siblings, friends, or spouses. I’d suffered through three of the four in my forty-eight years, and each one hurt deeply.

The night hadn’t turned out the way I expected. I could tell Eli had given me space to reflect, but after my confession, I just wanted to head home. I’m sure he sensed it too. With a heavy sigh, Eli gently said, “I’m sorry, Mason. I know it can still be painful even after all these years.” His friendly look of concern was a slight comfort.

I decided to finish my beer and head home. Eli attended to his other customers and left me sitting with my thoughts. I pulled my wallet out to pay, but Eli waved his hand and told me it was on the house. I instinctively threw a five-dollar bill down for a tip. Giving him a quick but sad smile, I said, “Thanks for the ear and the beers, my friend. I’m sure you’ll see me during the week.”

With a sad smile, Eli told me to drive safe and have a good night as I got off the stool. It was dark outside, and I took in the salty ocean air as I stepped out into the comfortable, balmy night and headed to my SUV.

My thoughts were bouncing between Claudia and Connor, and they haunted me as I drove home.

8

CONNOR

“Are we doing this or not?” I asked Spencer as he rifled through his closet.

“Yes, just give me a sec. I can’t find the Speedos I want to wear,” he said in frustration. We already had our workout gear on, and I sat on his bed as I watched him pick through and throw clothing to the floor.

“We swam two days ago, and you can’t find your suit?” I asked in exasperation.

Spencer’s muffled bark didn’t carry far with his head stuck in the closet. “I didn’t separate them from the dirty clothes after my laundry was done.”

Spencer had become a good friend at EOU. He had moved in the same day I did. We kept passing each other in the hallway that day and started chatting.

I’d noticed a large Pride sticker on a notebook he always carried, which made me ask if he was gay. He was open about it, and once I’d told him I was, he lit up and yelled, “Girlfriend!” Ever since, we’d become thick as thieves and spent time in each other’s rooms, either studying or gaming. I didn’t see him as boyfriend material, and I don’t think he saw me in that light either, but he was fun to hang with and have as a workout buddy. His personality was infectious.

The university had a community pool that was considered ‘family-friendly,’ and we used our student IDs to use the pool for free. We always used the lap lanes and occasionally raced and chided each other over our times. Today, we were going to use the weight room and finish with a few laps to cool down. Spencer was quite the competitive swimmer at the University of Idaho, as I was at Portland State, but now we just swam to keep in shape. Swimming was also the way I cleared my head and kept stress at bay.

Once Spencer found his suit, he threw it in his gym bag. I picked mine up from the floor, and we headed to the fitness center. It was later than I liked to go swimming, as it was past noon, but I wanted to workout before studying. I preferred to swim in the early morning.

Our weight room routine lasted about forty-five minutes, and then we headed to the pool. We usually stayed in the pool about ninety minutes, showered, changed, and then headed back to the dorm or found someplace to grab a bite.

It was the first week of October, and the blustery weather made us shiver as we walked and debated where to grab food. I was glad we brought hoodies to throw on after our workout. We walked to a diner close by and took a seat at a booth, placing the gym bags at our feet.

I ordered a chicken breast, steamed veggies, and a cup of black coffee, while Spencer ordered a cheeseburger, garlic fries, and a diet cola. I always teased him about his eating habits as I tried to stick to a high-protein, low-carb diet. I knew once our food came, I’d reach across the table and snag a fry or two from his plate.

We chatted about our upcoming school assignments until the food arrived. I was famished and happy it came quickly. Spencer took to his cheeseburger like he hadn’t eaten in a week, and true to form, I reached for a couple of French fries. Usually, we had cafeteria meals together when our schedules allowed. Spencer always got fries if they were available. He shared with me the first time we’d eaten together, and from then on, it became a habit.

“You put up this front of healthy eating, then grab my fries every time,” he said after swallowing a mouthful of burger.

“Hey, it’s only a few, and it’s not like you slap my hand away,” I uttered with a humorous tone of annoyance. “You never finish them anyway,” I said to justify my actions. He answered with a huff and rolled his eyes.

We ate the rest of our late lunch and chatted comfortably about classes and the hot guys on campus when I suddenly remembered something.

“I heard there’s gonna be some big multi-fraternity kegger and bonfire coming up in a few weeks. You wanna go?” I asked after I took a swig of coffee. “I overheard some frat guys in the library talking about it.”

I hadn’t been to a kegger since my sophomore year at Portland State and figured it might be fun to watch the undergrads make drunken fools of themselves. I wasn’t much of a drinker, but I enjoyed the social aspect and the effects of liquid courage on the newbies. It was like watching a cause-and-effect experiment.

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