Page 48 of Bridles and Bribery

Jillian straightened on her stool. “If that means there’s even the slightest chance you’d consider staying…” She hardly dared to meet Eloise’s eye. “For the long haul, that is…”

“Consider it?” Eloise pursed her lips. “Of course, I’m considering it! I’m considering a lot of things right now.” Whether she realized it or not, she glanced in the direction of Edward Wagner’s farm.

Hope welled inside of Jillian. “Has Edward asked you to stay, too?”

Eloise drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. “He’s dropped a few hints.”

A squeal of delight slid out of Jillian. “And?”

Eloise grimaced. “But all he’s done is escort us to church Sunday after Sunday after Sunday.”

“And join us for lunch and dinner countless times,” Jillian reminded. How could her mother-in-law forget that?

Eloise ducked her head over her coffee mug. “He’s never asked me on an actual date, though.”

Jillian had been wondering about that. “Maybe he’s waiting on a sign from you that you’d actually welcome such a thing.” Her mother-in-law possessed a strong personality. Though Jillian had grown closer to her in recent months, even she still found the woman difficultto read sometimes. “Maybe he doesn’t want to blow things with you.”

Eloise caught her lower lip between her teeth. “I feel like I’ve given him every opportunity. I’ve flirted shamelessly with him in the kitchen. I’ve made sure our hands brushed while drying and putting away dishes together. I’ve put myself out there, hon. I truly have.”

“Does he know about your other marriages?” Jillian asked gently.

“Oh, I’ve been brutally honest about my many failures in the arena of love.” Eloise’s voice grew bitter. “Enough that he’ll probably never take a woman of my caliber seriously.”

“I’m not so sure about that.” Jillian tried to choose her words carefully.

“If you’ve got something to say to me, hon, I think our relationship warrants that kind of honesty.”

She’d never seen her mother-in-law look or sound so vulnerable. “Edward strikes me as a very wise man. If I were in his shoes, I’d be more worried about competing with your first marriage than any of the other ones.”

“Good gravy!” A whimper escaped Eloise. “Am I that transparent?”

“Only to someone who knows you and cares about you as much as I do,” Jillian sighed. “As much, I suspect, that Edward cares about you.”

Hope sparked in Eloise’s gaze. “What exactly are you trying to tell me?”

“That it’s difficult for anyone to compete with a ghost.” Jillian didn’t think a man of Edward’s character and integrity would even try. He’d keep his emotional distance and respect the fact that there wasn’t any room in Eloise Phillips’ heart to replace her first love. Orexist beside her treasured memories of him. “Unless, of course, you were to give him hope of lassoing a piece of your heart for himself.”

“What if you’re wrong?” Eloise’s voice was soft with apprehension. “What if the shoe is on the other foot, and there’s no piece of his heart left for me? He had a good marriage, Jillian. A good marriage to a good woman he’d still be married to if she hadn’t gotten sick.”

“There’s only one way to find out.” Jillian reached over to pat her mother-in-law’s hand. “And I never pegged you as a coward.”

I never peggedyou as a coward.Eloise couldn’t get her daughter-in-law’s words out of her head. It was as if they’d been branded there. For the rest of the morning, she paced by the windows facing Edward’s home every chance she got.

His farm was so beautiful that it made her heart ache. The peeling paint and crooked shutters were long gone. What got to her the most was the fact that he’d sprung for a bucket of federal blue paint when it came time to spruce up his shutters. Plus, he’d hired a landscaping crew to plant a dozen of the reddest rose bushes he could find. Every time she looked out the window was like reading a love letter from him.

And yet…

He’s made no attempt to kiss me. Not even once!

She felt her face heat over the direction of her thoughts. Maybe seventy-three-year-old women weren’t supposed to feel this way. She’d run into plenty of gals in their seventies who were content to scoot through life while leaning on their walkers and chomping on their false teeth.

But I’m not one of them.

She was never going to be one of them. The good Lord had blessed her with too young of a heart. Maybe she was one of those souls destined to never completely grow up.

Or maybe I don’t deserve that kind of happiness.

Eloise paced past the window again, wallowing in her biggest fear of all. After attending months of church services, she’d come to the conclusion that her last four marriages had been horrible mistakes. She’d wasted years of her life grieving in unhealthy ways while trying to restore the happiness she’d found with her first husband.May he rest in peace.In the process, she’d fallen tremendously short of being the kind of mother Dave deserved. Hardly a day passed anymore that she didn’t send up a plea for God’s forgiveness. She’d made things right with her Maker, and she was ready to make things right with her son — just as soon as he finished helping put those thug gamblers behind bars.