Page 59 of Cookbooks and Demons

It broke her. It broke her so deeply. She hiccupped a sob and held her hands out. Pooka made a run for it. Then the demon was there, sliding his arms around her, like he did in the alley. The wings rushed about to clasp at her. The man she had come to know knelt down before her on the couch and tucked her against them as they both drowned in the grief.

Yet, she didn’t really cry. She couldn’t. It hurt too much and yet the only way through it was to feel it. So she breathed and she ached and sheheld on.

“I abandoned my family.”

Rafferty’s voice brokethrough.

“I abandoned my family to work in the kitchens of the King. My mother was unwell and my sister was too young to work. My father had already abandoned us, and when the demon found me and offered me the chance to escape the misery of that life, me and only me, I took it. A man has to make his own chances and not let anything tie him down. I told myself that I could send my wages home and take care of my mother and sister, but I never did, and I never thought about them again after that. I just left and worked in the kitchens of the palace. Everything I touched turned out delicious. I was a rising star in a cutthroat world. I destroyed my rivals to win the favor and approval of the King’s chef. And I kept pulling more and more on the demon’s power. Better food, better ingredients. I vanquished my rivals, being able to find the things I needed even if they tried to sabotage me in the kitchen until it got to the point that the chef saw me ashisrival. Then our relationship soured and I asked for something I shouldn’t. I asked for the chef’s life. The demon gave me the poison I killed him with. Fed his body to the pigs. But then the pigs were butchered before they too could die of the poison and that poison spread to half the castle. They all said it was the plague, but I knew what I had done. I said nothing. So many other people died because of it because of the fear of the plague, healthy people were left to die with the sick or just outright killed. And I was so sure what I had done would be discovered, so I gave everything I had to the demon to protect myself. I tried to invoke a miracle, to bring back everyone that had died because of me, to erase my mistake. And when I had given away too much, and my tab to him was too high, he took my life instead and dragged me to hell. Only there did I truly understand everything. I found out my mother had died of her illness and my little sister had starved to death. I had never even thought about them after I left. I just told everyone I was an orphan. I learned that if I had done what I had thought I would, sent my wages back, my mother would have recovered and my sister would have grown up.”

His story stopped, and Helena lifted her head to look into the face before her. His horns swept back from his still gaunt face, but maybe it was less so then when he first came. His gray skin and star burning eyes were still unearthly, but she could see the man she had gotten to know inside the bone structure and planes of that face. He still wore the black shirt and pants since they were real, but she had no idea how his wings were coming through the back of the clothing without tearing. A small question in which the answer didn’t matter at that moment. His tail wrapped aroundher ankle.

“So you see, Helena, you are still a better person than I am. You figured all that out while you were still alive and you chose tolivewith it. I couldn’t bear it. I chose to die for it, to try to make what I had done untrue.”

“Could you have brought all those lives back with demon magic?” Helena asked.

Rafferty shook his head. “No. It’s not possible like that. Even with demon magic, you can pretty much only save one person—maybe—if the request is made in the moment of death, and often it’s an exchange for another life.”

She nodded. “It makes sense.”

Leaning back, she slid from his arms until they clasped hands in her lap. “So there really is no way to bring you backto life?”

He shook his head. “No, there isn’t. I don’t even have my original body to try. And there are so many souls worthier than I.Like you.”

She wiped away at her face. “I am so sorry,” she said, attempting to break the tension. “I’m ruining your vacation again.” Pushing her way to her feet, she stepped out of the circle of his wings. “I just want to go to the kitchen fora moment.”

“No, Helena don’t—” Rafferty said, standing upas well.

“I’ll just be a moment. I’m just going to get some water.”

“I’ll get it for you,” he said, surging forward to head her off to her kitchen door.

“No, I would really rather get it myself—”

“I said I’ll get it!” he shouted, his whole frame now obviously blocking the door to herkitchen.

Staring at him, she lowered her hand from where she had intended to push the door inward. “Rafferty. Why are you keeping me out of mykitchen?”

Chapter 31

Horrible Discoveries

Rafferty didn’t answer her. He stared straight ahead, his wings flared out over her door, arms behind his back, his feet splayed as if he were preparing to take a hit. Force wasn’t getting through him. Words either.

Instead, she laid her hand on his chest, feeling the material of the black shirt he wore heave beneath it.

“Rafferty, justtell me.”

He looked at her then, his eyes dropping to take in her face, painted in shame. “I can make you sleep,” he said. “Just like I did before. I can make you forget about the kitchen again ifyou want.”

“What?” She took a step back. She didn’t want that. “What do you meanby again?”

His face was pained as he closed his eyes. “Of course, you wouldn’tremember.”

“Rafferty,” she said, warning in her voice. “Let me see what is happening in mykitchen.”

It was acommand.

He obeyed it, standing tothe side.

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