Page 56 of Bucked Hard

More than beautiful, cherished. On a pedestal so high the fall could kill me. I’m that girl. Walking on pillows. Pillows on air. Pillows on air on pillows again. It’s better than any book I’ve read and I pinch myself every morning making sure it’s not a dream.

But, I admit, I’m sooo tired. On the plus side, I’ve learned it’s possible to still function on a couple hours of sleep.

“I’ll be back by dinner.” I call out to where Jessie is hanging wash on the line. She raises a hand in acknowledgment, but her mouth is occupied holding onto three clothespins.

I’m still walking on clouds and feeling Chad’s cum make a wet spot in my panties from this morning’s wake up round as I plop myself in the truck. The feed store isn’t far, so it won’t take me long. I don’t want to be away for a second more than necessary, which is good because the cum in my panties is squelching against my skin already. Chad made it clear that he wanted his cum mess between my legs the rest of the day today. The thought makes my belly do ten kinds of flips knowing I’m carrying him with me like that.

But Rooster is out of sweet feed and I forgot to order it delivered with our regular delivery two days ago, so I’m off to Bennett’s Feed.

This morning after I snuck back in the farmhouse around five, then came outside at 5:30 a.m. to feed ol’ cranky Rooster, my heart grew three sizes like that damn Grinch in the Christmas show.

The sun was rising in streaks of yellow and red over the cornfield, and there was Chad in the round pen with Rooster. I stood mesmerized. I saved this horse from the auction, and I’m lucky to get within ten feet of him without him bucking with complaint. Yet there he was, nudging Chad’s chest with his nose. I have to admit, tears sprang to my eyes when I saw it, and I knew right then, that everything I was feeling for Chad, all the lust and love, wasn’t just okay, it was right.

I left them alone, Chad never knowing I saw them. I’ll tell him tonight though, because he needs to know how beautiful that moment was. Seeing such a damaged creature finally finding someone to trust. There truly is something magical about Chad, something unspoken. When I’m around him I just feel so much more alive and yet more peaceful than ever.

He told me he’s been training horses his whole life. That was what he did when he was in Oklahoma and that it’s his dream to have his own place like that around here. Now that I see him with Rooster, I know he’s got a gift.

After the hay baler accident, Enrique hummed and whistled working every day like nothing had ever happened.

The two of them headed back out to the field every day. Today, when I checked in with Jessie, she reminded me Rooster would be grouchier than usual if I didn’t go on and get his feed by dinner time so off I went in old Clifford. I do my best to keep track of all the feed, but my head has not been right the last few days.

The truck rattles and shakes all the way to Bennett’s. It’s late afternoon and I can’t shake the anticipation of what Chad has in store for us tonight. Before he and Enrique set off for the field, he whispered that he had a special surprise in store for me tonight.

I never realized I was this girl. One that would hang on to every word a guy said. Not being able to shake the feeling of wanting to be next to him. Every conversation playing over and over in my head.

Forever. He made me tell him forever.

Inside the feed store, Jenny is blustering about corn prices to Raymond Messing, a local farmer, as I wait at the counter thumbing through the latest Western Rider magazine. You can’t be in a rush at the feed store; it takes as long as it takes, and the conversations are almost more important than the commerce.

Jenny gives me a sidelong glance, and a grin. She picks up a long stick of beef jerky from the bin on counter, leans across and hands it to me.

“On the house,” she winks at me. “I’ll be with you shortly.”

“No hurry.” I take the leathery piece of dried beef and snap off a bit between my front teeth, setting the magazine down on the counter and turning around to lean my back against the register.

When the bells on the entry door jingle and I see who prances in, my stomach drops to my toes. “Well, well. Fancy meeting you here.” Lacy licks her lips and walks in like she’s on a Paris runway, her blue-black hair pulled into a wad of mess on top of her head. She grins, but it doesn’t make me feel like smiling back.

“Hi, Lacy.” My flat reply isn’t neighborly, but it’s all I got.

I snap off another bite of the jerky between my front teeth, daring her to make a comment. “What are you doing here?”

As far as I know, her family doesn’t have much to do with her any more. They own a nice dairy out to the east of town, but she’s got no land of her own and no animals to feed. Maybe it’s part of her new diet.

Jenny and Mr. Messing look over toward Lacy with tight lips, then turn back to their discussion about the upcoming corn prices for this year and if the Farmer’s Almanac has the weather forecast straight.

“Oh, I’m back staying at my family’s place.” She rolls her eyes and steps closer. “Seems if I’m going to stay there I’m expected to contribute. Yesterday I was in here picking up the blades for the shears, today it’s chicken feed and one of the cows needs some special feed because she’s all bound up inside or something. Whatever, who cares.” Her scowl turns to a smirk raising the hairs on my arms. “But, you know I was in here yesterday and guess what I heard.”

“What?” I look down at my boot, chewing the jerky, the salty flavor washing over my tongue as I stand wishing I was somewhere else.

She leans in, her lips open. The thick black eyeliner she wears at night at the bar is apparently just as appropriate as day wear.

“I overheard Jenny talking about that new guy out at your place. Said he was young, good lookin’. Seemed odd he’s trying to find harvest work.” Her voice falls barely above a whisper. “Said she was doin’ some diggin’ on him. Just for Jessie’s sake. Just you two out there, said she just wanted to be sure who he was and all. No one ever seen him around here before he showed up and Jessie hired him. She’s just bein’ neighborly. Looking out for y’all.”

Jenny finally leans over and punches up my order on the register. I’m trying not to be baited by Lacy but my cheeks are burning and my heart is pounding knowing she’s talking about Chad. Mean girls don’t need a reason to be mean I suppose. What’s the harm in Jenny looking out for us? I don’t understand why Lacy is making it out to be some drama in the making.

“$64.20 for four bags 12% sweet feed.” Jenny’s sing song, saccharine tone doesn’t pull me in. She’s the local gossip, thrives on other people’s misery under the guise of ‘just bein’ neighborly’ as Lacy put it. From the day I came to live with Aunt Jessie, I’ve been a curiosity for her as well.

She does like to talk and I bite my lip, digging in my bag for my wallet trying to stay out of whatever this is Lacy is stirring up. As I’m counting out the bills I glance out the front door to see her son, Dillon, loading my order into the bed of the pickup.

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