Page 67 of Bucked Hard

I lean up and take her lips, my tongue delving into her mouth as she opens and kisses me back. It sends showers of desire over and through me like standing under a waterfall at sunrise.

As we both moan into the kiss, a weight lifts off our shoulders and it seems the events of the night take flight on the breeze that blows through the small porch.

“Mmmm.” I pull back, licking my lips. “You taste sweeter every time I kiss you, you know that?”

“Kiss me again then.” Her smile lights up my heart but there is one nagging question bouncing around in my head. And I hate to ask, but I have to know.

“Dove, I need you to be completely honest with me. I just need to know.” My eyes search her face and even in the darkness I see the question in her eyes.

Then she nods her agreement.

“Remember when I asked you if anyone had touched you before?”

Another nod and my heart is in my throat.

“I want you to know, I want to know everything about you. I wish I could read your mind because I want it all. I’m sorry for whatever I did or didn’t do that made you feel like you couldn’t tell me about Leander. Can you tell me now – did Leander touch you?”

Her eyes turn from inquisitive to sad and I hate it, but I need to know.

My lungs burn as I hold my breath, then she shakes her head.

“He made me watch him touch himself.” She takes a deep breath and I squeeze her to me; my heart breaks knowing I couldn’t help her when she’d needed me. “He kissed me, made me show myself to him and he only touched my butt and under my shirt. I never let it go further, I was so scared, but thank God it stopped before that.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you back then. I wish I’d been there, I would have stopped him.”

“It’s okay. Knowing he’s gone for good now, I feel almost free from it. It’s strange, you taught me how beautiful it can be and what he isn’t even remotely related to what we do. What we have. I feel like it’s just some old story someone read to me once and I realize now that it can’t hurt me anymore.” Her eyes don’t leave mine and I feel like she’s letting me look right into her soul. “I actually hope whatever dark part of him made him do those things can turn around. I don’t wish any harm on him. I just want to forget it all. Feel free, you know?”

I do.

My chest fills with a sense of pride and an overwhelming possessiveness. She’s as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.

“I’ll never let anyone hurt you again. What you need will always come before what I need. I’ll be your protector, your provider, your best friend, your biggest fan. And above all, I’ll love you no matter what. I mean that, no matter what.”

She tightens her legs around my back in response and that’s clearer than any words she could have said.

I breathe in so deep my lungs hurt, then I rest my forehead on her shoulder and say a little prayer, the fingers of my hand pressed against the wood siding of the cabin, thumping with each heartbeat.

“What’s wrong?”

I shake my head, finish my prayer, say a silent amen and raise my eyes to hers. She settles her hands on my chest.

“I didn’t know anything close to what I feel now before I met you. And I know I’ll never feel it again.”

I let go of the wall, reach around and pinch the golden circle inside my pocket between my fingers.

“What?”

I bring it forward, the moonlight catching on the gemstones. “This ring is going on your finger, Rachel, so give me that hand.”

My heart stops beating for the three seconds it takes her to respond by holding her shaking fingers out in the small space between us.

“I’m not asking either. You understand why, don’t you?”

I slide the ring over her knuckle.

“Why?” Her question flutters around my head like the dove she is.

“You’re already mine; this is just window dressing.”

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