Page 99 of Bucked Hard

It’s grief. Loss. For something that was never even real in the first place.

The door opens behind me, and I see Jeanette’s mess of burgundy hair piled on top of her head. Then that smile. The same one that broke over her face when she told me that Ranger Stoddard makes tally marks on the back of his saddle for every girl he ropes in and lets loose.

Those tally marks. I double over the toilet bowl, but I manage to hold back.

“I just thought…you know, woman-to-woman, you should know. I hate to see you be made a fool of. I like you.” She snaps her gum, checking her nails as she leans a shoulder against the wall behind me. “He likes new girls best. He’s run out of anyone in this town that doesn’t know his reputation. So, don’t feel so bad. He’s so good. Trust me, plenty of girls in this town can tell you stories. I fell for it too. Enough to know all about that birthmark on him. You know the one, right? Right butt cheek.”

The way she says the last words tightens my stomach even more. Sweat beads on my forehead, and I fight the urge to turn and run. He’s due to be here for our daily dinner routine in a few minutes, and my mind is racing, trying to figure out how to get out of this with my dignity intact.

My salvation is the scholarship. My only salvation. When Dad called and told me the envelope arrived, I told him to open it. For the first time in my life, my education and goals about my PhD had made me feel conflicted. I’ve been so laser focused for so long, nothing ever swayed me from the thought that I would, in fact, go back to Bozeman and finish what I started. But when my father read me the words I’d waited so long to hear…Congratulations, Ms. McGowan… My heart sank.

Now, standing here in the bathroom with Jeanette, I know I must have temporarily lost my mind. I let myself get caught up in this whole country life. The fresh air. The relaxed atmosphere. The smooth cowboy with the black hat and the kiss that temporarily blinded me to reality. It was all just a mirage. I was ready to turn down the scholarship. Asking myself if I really need another degree. Convinced that it would never fill the constant void inside of me, the one that’s nearly disappeared since I’ve met Ranger.

Jeanette snaps her gum, and I fight back the sickness growing in my belly.

“So—” She starts, and I spin and head for the door without a word.

Any doubt I had about taking my scholarship and staying here is gone. A tiny chirp in the back of my head tells me I should talk to Ranger, but the bigger part knows there’s a reason he didn’t want to talk about those notches in his saddle. And how else could she know about his birthmark? It’s too intimate to be seen any other way.

Stomping out the bathroom door, armed with nothing more than my willingness to keep walking and never look back, I run smack into the one person I was hoping not to see. Hoping that the gods would have mercy on me and let him be late.

For once.

“Whoa there, Little Bit.”

Tears immediately spring and burn my eyes. I’m furious at the emotion. How did I fall so far so fast?

“Let me go!” I wrench my body away from Ranger and manage to get out the front door of the diner, away from prying eyes and ears, before he’s on me.

This time, he’s got me by the shoulders, and before I can smack him away, those arms that have held me and made me feel safe tuck me into his chest. His scent immediately tightens my core, sending desire flooding through me, but it only makes me angrier now that I know the truth.

“Never.” His deep voice rumbles with that calm confidence I once found irresistible.

“You can’t hold me here! I have rights.” I squirm and twist, but his arms only tighten.

“Just tell me what the hell is going on.”

Before I can decide if I can get the words out without breaking into sobs, Luther’s voice comes from behind me.

“Get that ass back inside, or you’re fired, sweet cheeks.”

Ranger turns us both as he grips me tighter into him.

“I told you once, do not talk to her like that. Now, you get your ass back inside.” Ranger’s voice rumbles, the words clear and slow. I can sense a tension in his body I’ve not felt before, something new and frightening. Or frightened.

“You think your shit don’t stink, Stoddard? You come in here every night making me give that little smartass special treatment. Getting her dinner served to her like she’s the fucking princess and the—”

Before I take another breath, Ranger lets me go. In five strides, he’s squared off with Luther, and I swear he’s grown a few inches. I could take my moment and flee, but I’m too transfixed to move an inch.

“You have exactly two fucking seconds to apologize to her, then exactly two more seconds to get your ass back through that door.”

“Apologize? Fuck you.” Luther steps back, then leans and points toward me. “I knew I shouldn’t have hired her. Little smartass, correcting the way I do business, thinking she’s gonna walk in here and tell me how to run my place.”

As I listen to him talk, I feel tears welling in my eyes. I want to say,No, I didn’t mean to interfere. I thought I was helping.I start to speak, but my voice is too quiet to be heard, and Ranger jumps to my defense.

“Your two seconds are up.”

“I don’t need you to do this!” I yell, my anger and frustration welling up.

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