Page 28 of Vows to a King
He couldn’t forget that he had been nothing but excitement and fun for one evening to her, couldn’t let this forced connection dig its claws deeper into him. Couldn’t forget that he was the Prince of Thalassos for her. Nothing more.
When she’d have moved up and kissed him, he shifted his head away from the touch and slowly untangled her from him. The bastard he was, he didn’t even try to make it look casual or as if he weren’t rejecting her touch. “I think playtime is over, Princess,” he said, infusing easy lethargy into his tone.
“What?” she whispered.
Steadying her shoulders against the lounger, he threw his legs to the side and stood up. “I still have to finish reading those damned summary notes and come to some sort of conclusion,” he said, without meeting her gaze. “You should go back to your wing and rest. No doubt your calendar is as packed as mine is for the next couple of days.”
His skin, warm moments ago with her lush curves bare and pressed up against him, instantly chilled as he walked to his desk. He tightened his jaw against the soft sounds of her straightening her dress and hair, fighting the urge to wrap his arms around her.
What he didn’t expect was that she would precede him to the neatly tucked away bar at the rustic wall and pour a finger of whiskey into a tumbler. She drank it in one long gulp, giving him the perfect view of the elegant arch of her neck.
Just like that, heated longing filled him. It had taken every ounce of willpower he had to resist her innocent demand that she wanted everything now and wait for their wedding night. A primal, near-animal part of him wanted to fill her with his seed and get her pregnant as soon as possible. It was the first time in his life that fate or the universe or whatever higher power was out there had granted him a boon. He wasn’t going to lose it.
Jemima was the sort of woman who would upend the world for her children, would give her undying loyalty to every commitment she made. Having children with her, he knew would create a bond between them that he didn’t know how to create, or want to create, in any other way. It felt like a cheat, a shortcut for binding her to him, without giving her anything of value in return. Getting her emotionally tangled in him, in them, without investing his own emotions.
But he didn’t care.
Her true loyalty, her clever mind, everything she had to give would be his then. The one gift Thalassos was giving him as its king, and he would claim as his due.
“I won’t be able to wind down for a while,” she said, pinning her hair into a tight knot. He couldn’t look away from her breasts thrust up by the action. “Why not talk through the sticky points of the treaty with me?”
“How, if you aren’t aware of its contents?” he snapped. “It’s a stupid rule that you shouldn’t be allowed into the meetings until the coronation. I too was an outsider until two weeks ago. Even with all their conniving heads put together, those old men don’t have your common sense.”
Whatever she might have thought of his sudden cold treatment of her, his praise made her eyes light up with humor. And he remembered how she had gushed damp when he’d called her a good girl.
Could his regal, efficient, damned smart queen-to-be have a praise kink? “Careful, Your Highness. Or your subjects might call you whipped.”
“If that’s what I get for listening to the smartest person in the palace, then so be it.”
“So use that intelligence, Adonis,” she said, urgency seeping into her words. “It’s at your disposal. Just imagine if you can solve this problem and pass a new treaty as your first act as King of Thalassos. It not only sets up your regime spectacularly but it cements your place among the people. No one can question your—”
“I don’t like seeing you scared, Jemima,” he said, despite his resolve to keep her at a distance. Something about the innocent being bullied had always riled him up.
Her throat worked as she tried to smooth her features. “I don’t trust my father. You’re the answer to so many wishes and the target of such ill wills, Adonis. And not just because you’re Queen Isadora’s son but because you’ve seen the world outside and are not bogged down by outdated traditions. Just in two weeks, you have earned my trust.”
The weight of her faith sat like a boulder on his chest while his own behavior of moments ago shamed him. And he knew that he had to extend that very same faith at some point. That he had to trust that she wanted the best for the kingdom, even if their relationship couldn’t be more than duty.
Clasping her hand with his, he brought her to his enormous desk. “I don’t have a list of sticking points because I didn’t understand the legalese.” He smoothed out his tone, refused to dress up his words with either pity or importance. It had taken him a long while to see himself as whole, as not deficient, and he wouldn’t change that for anyone.
“I have a host of learning disabilities that I have addressed with therapy and such. But that bloody tome is too dense for me to get through without professional help.”
Shock made Jemima still, flushing her with a cold chill. His admission was matter-of-fact, if tinged at the end with frustration.
Suddenly, a lot of tiny tidbits she’d heard about him around the palace made perfect sense. Admiration and worry filled her chest. She spoke with care, managing to make her tone free of either. “And you don’t want to betray your condition to even your team?”
“I have two assistants I would trust with my life. One is off on maternity leave and the other is unable to travel long distances due to his chronic illness.”
“And yet you told me about…it,” she said, disbelief ringing through her.
“You’re right that either we trust each other or we don’t.” His gaze held hers. “It can’t be doled out through some calculated process.”
“Am I allowed to ask any questions about it or why you—”
“It’s a set of disabilities I’ve lived with for thirty-four years. The last thing I want now is to make this about me when Thalassos stands at the line of debt or war. Let’s focus on how to find a solution to this trade problem. Our excessive, extravagant wedding is only going to push us deeper into the debt hole.”
Jemima nodded, burying the million questions that wanted to spring out of her mouth, her heart suddenly heavy with ache for this Prince who was unlike any man she’d ever known.
* * *
