Page 44 of Vows to a King
When she reached the door that would cement their differences, she heard him call out her name. Head bowed, she stopped but refused to turn. “What?” she said, all of her disappointment turning into belligerence.
“I’m going to Ephyra to…bring him home. I have to do that, Jemima. I could not live with myself if I didn’t—”
“You are the bloody king, Adonis. Do whatever you think you need to. But don’t expect me to be an obedient queen. Don’t expect me to stand by you quietly when you’re intent on ruining a good thing. I’ve had a lifetime of obedience that I barely rid myself of, thanks to you. I’m not going to begin pandering to another man now, even if that is you.”
“You made a vow to be my wife,” he said, a thread of anger weaving through his tone. “You belong with me. Instead, you bandy about grand words like love.”
“Tell me,” she said, turning, “will you be the same man you are now far away from Thalassos and everything you love? With your heart trapped here, will you love me as I love you, Adonis?”
“The reason I returned is not love for Thalassos, but because it’s what I owe to the woman who raised me as her own.”
The self-isolation she heard in his words tore her up from inside out. “Wow, how did I not know how good you are at lying to yourself? I’m sorry he twisted you up so badly that you can’t admit to what you love, Adonis, or reach for it. I can’t imagine how scary it must feel. And I see now why you buried that pain in outrageous, risky stunts all your life. But this is me, your wife, and I won’t play along. What I see in front of me is a coward who masquerades as the bravest man in the world.”
“A coward?” he said, his chin rearing down.
“Yes. Whether it is you or Adamos that sits on the throne now, my place is here at the palace, with your mother, with Thalassos. This is where I will raise my children, teaching them to go after everything they love. If you want to run away at the first hurdle and ruin everything we’re building, if you want to use this knowledge of Adamos being alive as reason to turn your back on all that you love, feel free to do so.”
She didn’t wait for him to reply to her grand statement. Laughter rose up within her, bitter and twisted, at her own pretension to nobility she didn’t have.
Without him, she was nothing but a pawn again. But queen or pawn, she wasn’t the same Jemima that had lived in fear, had borne apathy without a word, for so long.
He had changed her.
And she wouldn’t settle for anything less than her king’s utter devotion.
CHAPTER TWELVE
IT TOOKADONISnearly two days to clear his schedule of important matters so that he could travel to Ephyra.
That Jemima wasn’t traveling with him—and more importantly, that she wasn’t happy with his plan, had become clear to his and her aides and the palace staff. Not that she turned cold on him in front of so many prying eyes. She simply didn’t have the effusive warmth that she radiated toward him so easily, anymore.
It was akin to sun’s warmth and light not touching his skin for months.
Then there was the fact that the palace PR team hadn’t made an official announcement of the pregnancy yet.
He knew how much the media, and Thalassans themselves who had been deprived of big celebrations, would be overjoyed at the announcement. But he couldn’t postpone it until he figured out how to fix the mess they were in because his sweet wife had already begun showing.
In the end, he’d claimed it was a matter of national security that he travel to Ephyra immediately in front of the crown council, had been thankful that Jemima hadn’t betrayed her misgivings in front of them or his mother, had kissed her soft cheek when she’d been in deep slumber like a thief stealing something that didn’t belong to him.
The idea of her staying behind in Thalassos even if he left…both confused and skewered him. How could she say that, when in the same breath, she claimed to love him?
It was only as he waited for Queen Calista’s attendants to bring his brother into the stark, hospital-like room that Jemima’s words struck him with the force of a hammer hitting the anvil.
A coward, she had called him.
Burying his face in his hands, he groaned. Because she was right and he realized that only now, when he was truly facing the prospect of losing everything he had.
The last three months of his life—ruling Thalassos with her by his side while building a bond together—had been his happiest, his best.
And yet, he had also lived it with the fear that Thalassos or Jem or his happiness weren’t his own and might be snatched from him at any moment. So, being the coward he was, he had decided that he would give it up at the first obstacle instead of facing the pain of losing it all. Instead of fighting for it.
And she was also right that if he left Thalassos behind, he would only be a half man.
But even that wasn’t as ghastly as the idea of returning to his old life without her.
His queen, his wife, his…love.
The quiet acknowledgment flooded him with a rush the likes of which he’d never known. He felt like he was diving from the highest cliff, his heart thundering with life in his throat, his entire body abuzz with the thrill of being alive.
