Page 47 of Vows to a King
Uncaring of their avidly watching audience, he pressed his mouth to her temple. When her own shivers abated, she recognized the stiffness in his lean body.
Thoughts pummeled her. What had happened with Adamos? What did it mean that Adonis had arrived alone? And when push came to shove, could she really walk away from the man she loved with every breath?
“Jemima might still hold some misguided affection for you, Aziz, but I do not have the slightest bit of tolerance for you or any man who would threaten her.” Pure steel reverberated in Adonis’s voice. “This is my last official warning to you. If you care at all about the power and wealth you have amassed at Thalassos’s feet, you will respect my queen and my rule. Or I will make sure you’re locked up in some dank, dark prison for treason.”
Her father left, without even a glance in her direction.
The moment he was out of earshot, Jemima jerked away from the man whose arms would bind her, despite her best resistance. Neither did she have the energy to engage in another heartbreaking argument with him. “I’m tired,” she said, walking away from him.
“Not curious about why I return without him, Jem?”
“No,” Jemima said, hardening her heart against the naked want she spied in his eyes. “You left for Ephyra against my wishes, against my advice. Why you return now, alone or otherwise, is not my concern either.”
Hurt reverberated through each word she said but she seemed to have no control over that. It seemed that, after decades of constantly suppressing her every emotion and wish and desire, that particular ability was not in her toolkit anymore.
Neither could she will herself to stop loving him, to stop seeing him as who he truly was.
Walking around her, Adonis planted himself in front of her, his arms coming to clasp her shoulders. While he kept his grip loose, the tension that radiated from him was nearly painful to bear. “Not even if I were to tell you that you were right about everything?” he said. “I do know how much you pride yourself on your wisdom, Jem.”
She raised her gaze to his and begged her composure to stay intact. “At what time during our short relationship have I ever given you the impression that I cared about being right?”
“You were also right that I was being a coward, that I have loved Thalassos with all my heart for so long. But I denied the truth to myself. It was easier that way than to wish for things to be different.”
“And I understand your pain better than anyone, Adonis. But it seems foolish to me to continue the delusion when it doesn’t have to be true, to keep giving yourself that pain when it’s not necessary anymore. When instead, you could choose happiness.”
“Call it a stubborn fool clinging to the past, Jemima. Until now, until you pushed me to see it, I didn’t even recognize the taste of my own happiness. I didn’t recognize the fact that everything I had never wished for, not even in my wildest dreams, was already mine. You are right that if I left Thalassos, I would leave my heart here. But even more than the kingdom, it is you who owns me, Jemima. You own my heart. You claimed it without even asking. Maybe even on that first night when you asked me with such honesty to save Thalassos.”
Tears filled her eyes and flowed down her cheeks. “I was only saving myself. Do not attribute nobility to me that I don’t possess, Adonis. It is only through you and your eyes and your vision that I have come to love Thalassos too.” A hiccup escaped her, all her composure a thing of the past. “When I told you that I loved you, it made no difference to you. You simply walked away, crushing me in the process.”
He pulled her to him then, and her sobs broke through the dam of her control.
She was aware that he had lifted her, again as if she were nothing but a feather made of dreams and wishes, that he was going down a steep set of steps, to a small tower that was used for stargazing, but she couldn’t stop her tears.
By the time he settled down onto a settee with her in his lap, she had soaked his shirt through.
His rough hands clasped her cheeks, forcing her to meet his eyes. “Shh…agapi mou. That’s enough. I told you; your tears unman me like nothing else could. And that they come because of my cowardice, because of my own refusal to see what was right in front of me…it wrecks me through and through. Jemima, please, will you not forgive me? Will you not give me another chance?”
With a gasping breath, Jemima sought control over her tears. “You should not have doubted me or yourself for an instant. When have I ever told you anything but the truth?”
He smiled, but it lacked warmth. “My foolishness had nothing to do with you, Jem. It was all me. I suffused my entire being with rejection and pain, and when happiness danced in front of me, I was blind to it. But now… I will never again make that mistake.”
Sliding her off his lap to the couch, to which she gave a loud protest, he went to his knees in front of her, just like he had done once in front of his mother and the crown council.
He took her hands in his, and kissed each knuckle with such thorough leisure that each press of his lips battered away the fear that had filled her for the last few days. Only his tender touch made her believe this was real, that he was real. And he seemed to know that too.
When he raised his face to her, his blue, blue eyes glittered with emotion that she finally recognized, and craved like air itself.
“I love you with all my heart, my queen. And there is no one I’d rather rule with by my side than you. Your trust, your honesty, your expertise, everything you give me,” he raised her knuckles to his eyes, and Jemima felt her heart flutter about her chest like a bird finally free, “is a benediction that I didn’t know I needed. Be my wife, the mother of my children and my queen, Jem, and I will worship at your feet for the rest of our lives.”
She laughed through the tears blurring her vision again. Smacking him on the shoulder, she slid off the settee into his waiting arms. Ignored his warning growl to be careful. Needing to be enveloped by his warm, muscled strength.
Nothing could stop her from reaching him and touching him to her heart’s content.
“I only wish to be loved by you, Adonis. I want nothing more; you know that, right? Not the crown, not the queendom, not all the riches in the palace. Only you.”
He pulled her close and took her mouth finally. The kiss was slow, even tentative, for a man who punched headlong into deep canyons and terrifying river gorges with nary a thought.
Pushing him onto the thick rug, Jemima straddled his lean hips and stared down at him. “Adamos…how is he?”
