Page 515 of The Tempted

Until death do we part.

Until now.

I bent my head, closing my mouth around the needle and pulled it from her arm with my teeth, spitting it onto the floor.

My needle.

My product.

I untied the band from her arm before leaning back against the wall of the tub and cried.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered to her, leaning forward to kiss her ice-cold lips.

I woke, thrashing violently as the nausea worked me over and I vomited.

“Blackie, look at me,” Reina pleaded.

So this isn’t hell.

I’m still fucking here.

“Look at me, damn it,” she ordered.

There was nothing left, yet still I felt like I needed to get something up. I dry heaved over and over until my body calmed down and I could turn my cheek, wiping my mouth against the leather that covered my shoulder.

I lifted my beady eyes to Reina’s.

“You’re okay, you just need to remind yourself you’re okay,” she said, softly.

I closed my eyes.

I was okay.

But why?

Why me and not her?

I opened my eyes, blinking as I focused my attention on Reina.

“I’m not a junkie,” I whispered.

People can change whether it’s a choice or a result of circumstance… it’s possible. Picking out a grave, figuring out the words to carve into my wife’s headstone, deciding what she would wear when she was laid to rest, those were the things that forced me to change. I did the detox thing, suffered the withdrawals, thought, I was dying, prayed for it... but it never came. God didn’t spare me and take her. He made me the survivor but he didn’t grant me any favors. He knew the game he was playing when he took her and left me here. He sparedherfromme, granted her peace, leaving me behind to suffer without her.

Life.

It was his revenge on me.

Live.

Breathe.

A burden bestowed on me from the almighty maker of heaven and earth. Life wasn’t some divine gift, it was my punishment.

“I know,” she said. “Why is he doing this to you?”

“Because I deserve it,” I admitted, turning back to her.

Jack will lose it if anything happens to her. He deserves some kind of good after all that shit he suffered. Losing your mind is one thing but losing your child is a whole different story. That man lived a lot of life, did a lot of penance and finally was granted his divine gift and I was staring at her. I wanted to do my job, to be able to protect the club, and protecting the club meant protecting its property and Reina? She was property of Parrish but reality set in and it settled fast. I didn’t have the strength to save her in the state I was in right now. I didn’t know much about her but I knew enough to know she was a fighter.

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