Page 42 of Raging Inferno

Chapter Fourteen

The Best Laid Plans

In life, timing is everything.

Especially with matters of the heart.

Sometimes, more often than not, we meet the right person at the wrong time. I always believed with my whole heart that Chris and I were meant to be. We were destined to fall in love with one another but, our love was riding on borrowed time.

Accepting that is a painful pill to swallow but once we do, we clear the path for what will be. It could be days, months or years before it happens—before everything in your life aligns and the right person finally comes into your life at the most perfect time.

When it happens, you think its luck.

You think the cloud that’s been following you has finally lost its way.

It’s none of those things.

It’s fate, grabbing you and pairing you to your destiny.

If someone would’ve told me two months ago, I’d be where I am today I probably would’ve laughed in their face. I never thought I would find the courage to move past Chris. I thought I was content living for our memories and our son. I didn’t know there was so much more life for me, so much more love to be found.

Yes, I said love but, that’s our little secret. I may be courageous these days but, I’m not that brazen. Falling in love is something precious and I want to hold on to it for a little longer before sharing it with the world. Besides, actions speak louder than words. Our actions are the expressions of our hearts. They tell the stories words never can and every day I make a conscious effort to show my love. To breathe my affection.

I’ve decided its time for Jimmy to meet my son. Unsure how our story would play out, I was hesitant. Christopher has never had a male figure in his life and I didn’t want to confuse him but, Jimmy and I aren’t two ships passing in the wind.

Like I said, life is about finding the right time and it’s time to introduce one piece of my heart to another. But before I can do that, I need to visit with the other piece.

The piece I’ll always miss but forever cherish.

Kneeling in front of the tombstone, I run my fingers over Chris’ name and the scripture engraved into the granite.

“Hi my love,” I murmur softly. “I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve visited but, I always think of you and I know I don’t have to come here to be close to you. There is a part of you with me wherever I go and I’ll never let that go.”

Swallowing, I pause and drop my hands into my lap as I lean back on my haunches.

“I still close my eyes and see your face. You visit me in my dreams and assure me everything is okay just as you did when you were here. For the longest time, I didn’t believe you. I’d wake from those dreams angry because I thought nothing would ever be okay again. Sometimes you’d tell me to be happy, and those dreams angered me most. How could I ever be happy without you?”

As the words leave my lips, fresh tears sting my eyes and slide down my cheeks.

“You knew, didn’t you?” I whisper.

“You knew he’d come into my life. Part of me wonders if you had a hand in sending him to me,” I whisper. “The selfish part goes as far as believing I have your blessing. I need to believe you’d want me to move on but I want you to know it’s not easy. My love for you didn’t die with you. It still lives inside of me and always will. I need you to know that. I need you to know that while I’m giving another man my future, you will always own my past.”

Wiping my face with the back of my hand, I draw in a deep breath before bringing my fingertips to my lips. Placing a kiss on them, I touch the stone as I rise to my feet.

“Look over our son and visit me in my dreams,” I rasp, dropping my hand back to my side.

It takes me a moment to collect myself before I turn and make my way back to my car. Pausing at the door, I glance back at Chris’ headstone.

“See you on the other side,” I whisper, swallowing the lump in my throat.

Inside the car, my phone rings and I quickly compose myself before answering Jimmy’s call.

“Hey,” I greet.

“Hi beautiful,” he replies. “I just dropped Gab off at Lisa’s.”

“How’d that go?”

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