Page 143 of Parrish

Chapter Forty-four

Jack Parrish

There comes a time in a man’s journey, when he pauses and reflects. He considers all his blessings and all his sins, the mark he’ll leave on the world and the legacy that will follow when he’s gone. For a long time, I thought I’d be deprived of that moment, that my maker would rob me of it. Yet, as I cross the Verrazano bridge and ride through the streets of Staten Island, I’m able to reflect.

I’m not God’s favorite son. We have more of a love/hate relationship than anything but for all the misfortunes he’s bestowed upon me, he’s also blessed me. Starting with the three beautiful children he’s given me. He may have taken Junior from me, but I was still allowed the honor of being his father for a short while. That little boy taught me more lessons in this life than anyone. His death forced me to better a father.

A better man.

Someone full of imperfections but equipped to help his daughter battle her demons while he struggled to overcome his own.

Then, he gave me my third child. My precious Danny. My second chance at nurturing a boy into a man. I’m still trying to figure out what I did to deserve him. Something tells me, I’ll die never knowing the answer, and that’s okay. I’ll take his blessing and I’ll cherish it…mystery and all.

But after my children, God wasn’t done giving.

It didn’t matter that the three gifts he had already given me were more than I deserved in this lifetime; he kept filling my life with beauty. He dropped an angel on this Earth and made her my wife. He tested our love and still does but it’s all part of his generous plan. You see, for all the trials and tribulations Reina and I endure, our love grows. Our bond strengthens. We become indestructible.

Another blessing.

And there were more to come.

God gave me a family too.

He gave his broken son brothers to lift him when he was down. Men that taught him more of life’s greatest lessons. They brought quality to his life and showed him loyalty and respect are the core of a man.

God was good, and it made me wonder why I ever doubted him. Why I chose a life of sin over his love. Another mystery I’ll never uncover.

As I pull my bike in front of Kates, I realize God isn’t finished with me. As undeserving as I am, he’s still got more to give. While one door closes, another opens and this time. This may have been my final ride, but there’s more to life than brotherhood and vigilante justice. Life is just beginning.

Killing the engine, I drop down my kickstand and watch as my brothers all do the same. Exhaustion wears on our faces as we drag our asses up the stairs. Midway something snaps inside all of us and we leave Satan on the streets as we enter the bar and face the people waiting for us.

Did I mention, God gave me heart too?

He gave me all these beautiful faces.

Made them mine.

Another blessing.

“Daddy!”

At the sound of my son’s voice, I turn my head and spot him charging straight for me. Instantly, I open my arms and catch him, lifting him high as he wraps his arms around my neck.

On top of everything, God gave me a legacy too.

He gave me him.

This beautiful boy.

Until today his childhood has been compromised by my sins and that’s unacceptable. These last few weeks have put things into perspective for me. In the beginning, I was willing to take the easy way out. I thought surrendering to the law was something I owed my family. If I rid them of the burden of me, they could enjoy the blessings God had in store for them. But really, I owe my family my presence.

My time.

My love.

My support.

My loyalty and my respect.

---