Chapter Twelve
Reina Parrish
Jack’s mood was ping-ponging. One minute he was the loving man on the cusp of signing his life away, the next he was a desperate creature, trying to prove his existence. If he could paint the world and leave his mark, I’m sure he would. Instead, he painted me, branding me in front of a faceless stranger in a parking lot.
It was nothing I pictured our final time together would be and yet, at that very moment, it was everything I needed. Desperation will make you insane and I’m starting to wonder if maybe Jack isn’t the only one losing his mind because I am not ashamed of what we did.
I’d do it again.
And again.
In front of thousands of eyes.
I’d paint the world too, letting everyone know I’m his.
The other half of Jack’s heart.
The broken piece he’ll leave behind in a few hours.
“Reina,” Jack calls from behind me, pulling me away from my thoughts. Shrugging my jacket off, I drape it over the back of one of the kitchen chairs before glancing over my shoulder at him. Leaning against the door frame, he crosses his arms and studies me for a moment.
“Are you okay?” he questions, narrowing his dark eyes.
“Of course,” I reply, turning around to completely face him. I comb my fingers through my hair and stare at him. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”
“You barely said a word to Grace before she left,” he points out.
A frown ticks the corners of my mouth as I realize he’s right. I was too lost in my own head to pay much attention to Grace. I didn’t even bother to thank her for watching Danny or ask if she had heard back from her husband’s lawyer. Truthfully, I was relieved when I heard the door close behind her and for that I’m ashamed. In my defense, I’m terrified of the sun coming up and all I want is to lay next to my husband. I want to memorize the rhythm of his heartbeat and the way I perfectly fit in the crook of his arm.
I’ll have plenty of time to talk with Grace.
Plenty of chances to thank her for watching my son.
But I won’t have my husband.
“I’ll call her tomorrow to apologize,” I say as he pushes off the doorjamb and takes a step closer to me.
“Talk to me, Reina,” he pleads. “Tell me what’s going on inside that head of yours.”
I smile at his choice of words.
“Isn’t that my line?”
He cocks his head to the side as he reaches me and lifts his hand to my cheek.
“I love looking at you,” he says softly. “In the morning when you wake up. When you’re cooking and helping Danny with his homework. When you smile and fuck, I love watching you laugh too. After you come when you’re completely satisfied and look at me like I’m some kind of fucking king—that’s another look I love.”
Pausing, he lifts his other hand to my face and cups my cheeks as he leans his forehead against mine.
“But this look, the one you’re giving me right now, it’s fucking breaking my heart Reina.”
“What look?”
“Your light is dimming, Sunshine,” he whispers.
As much as I hate to admit it, he’s right. I told myself I wouldn’t fall to pieces, that I’d stay strong until he surrendered, but I’m losing my will. It’s all too much and I can’t help but feel like I’m grieving a living man. The very last thing I want is our final memories of one another to be these. I want us to remember each other as lovers and know the part of him that is me, will never die.
“I’m fine,” I tell him.