Page 31 of Parrish

“You’re breaking.”

“No,” I argue, shaking my head free of his hold. “I don’t break, Parrish.”

The words sound weak to my own ears, but I refuse to show defeat. Smoothing a hand down his chest, I force a smile.

“Go check on Danny, give him a kiss and tuck him in for the night. I’m going to take a quick shower before I meet you in bed.”

“Reina—”

“Please, Jack,” I interrupt hoarsely. Something snaps deep inside of me and I lose my filter. “I haven’t asked you for a thing since you told me you were taking the deal. I didn’t beg you to change your mind or ask you to choose me. I stood by your side and performed the role of the supportive wife like it was my God given right. In reality, I’m mourning my husband and he’s standing right in front of me. Do you have any idea how that feels?” I cry, balling my fists angrily. “My heart is broken and in the back of my mind I’m wondering how I’m going to go on without you, but I can’t let that consume me because we’re not going to remember our love this way. We get one chance at goodbye, Jack. One shot at closing the story with a beautiful memory. Now, I’m asking you to pretend like you don’t see the cracks in my bravado. I want to remember how loved I felt every time my husband looked at me and how safe I felt in his arms. I want to remember his gruff voice in my ear and the scent of his cologne on my sheets. I want to remember you the way I saw and felt you since the day I met you. Give me that. Please, give me that memory.”

I wait for the regret to seep into my soul but the need to wish my words away doesn’t come. Not even when he takes a step backward and flinches as if I’ve smacked him across the face. We’re a lot of things but what we’re not are liars. Our marriage is full of ugly truths we’ve both accepted, this is just another added to the list.

Jack rocks back on his heels and swipes a hand over his face. I know my husband well enough to know the wheels are turning in his head. He’s not just searching for the words to make this mess better, he’s looking for the actions. A grand gesture he hopes will erase the pain his life choices have cost us both. The man may be surrendering to the law and some might call him a quitter for it, but Jack is no quitter. He will fight for his family until he draws his last breath. It doesn’t matter it’s a losing battle, that he’ll never find the balance between man and patch—in his failing mind, he still has hope.

“Go take your shower,” he says finally. In one stride, he closes the gap between us and presses his lips to my forehead. “I’ll meet you in bed.”

My lips part in shock and my eyes narrow with confusion as he turns and starts for the door.

“That’s it?” I call, watching as he pauses in the doorway. “You’re not going to fight with me and try to sway me some—”

“No, I’m not going to fight you, Reina,” he rasps, glancing over his shoulder at me. “When you’re right, you’re right. If you want to remember us a certain way, who the fuck am I to take that away from you.”

Without another word, he peels his eyes from mine and walks out of the kitchen. A moment later I hear him climb the steps and I break down in tears. I cry for him, for me, for the love we made and the years we will lose. I cry and cry…until there are no more tears left to shed. Then and only then, I pick up the pieces of my broken heart and fix my mask to my face.

After all, the show must go on until the curtain closes.

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