We aren’t perfect.
No two people ever are.
Just like no love is perfect.
That doesn’t make it any less true.
Any less powerful.
Through the darkness and into the light, our love will always shine. The lights may go out, but the candle will continue to burn.
“Dad! Uncle Wolf and the rest of the—”
Danny’s words trail off as his gaze darts from Jack to me. I quickly try to compose myself in front of my son and wipe away my tears with the backs of my hands.
“Are you guys fighting?”
“No,” Jack says. “We’re just talking.”
“Then why is mommy crying?”
Ignoring Jack’s intense stare, I focus on my son and force a smile. The last memory of his parents together shouldn’t be a miserable one. When he’s older, and he thinks back on our relationship, I want Danny to remember the love.
“I’m sad is all,” I tell him. “But we’re all a little sad today, aren’t we?”
He nods his head and glances at Jack. Walking towards Danny, he crouches down in front of him and tousles his sandy brown hair.
“Hey, bud, can you do me a favor? Can you tell Uncle Wolf I’ll be right down?”
Seeming to debate his answer, he looks over Jack’s shoulder and his eyes lock with mine.
“I’m fine,” I assure him, winking at him for good measure. “Go on, I’ll be right down too.”
He reminds me so much of Jack as he continues to stare at me skeptically. A few more moments pass before he’s convinced and takes off for the stairs.
Alone with my husband, I watch him rise to his full height. Reaching me, he lifts my chin with his thumb and our eyes lock. As we stare at one another, I think we both realize neither of us have the will to say goodbye.
“Let it die here, Reina,” he pleads hoarsely. “Where we spent our nights loving one another until the sun came up and our days raising our boy. Here, in our home, where nothing bad ever touched us.”
Cupping my face, he bends his head and touches his forehead to mine. My throat constricts as I struggle to find my voice. I want to tell him no, that it’s my turn to be selfish and the last moments he has as a free man belong to me and me alone.
“I love you, Reina. As God as my witness, I love you with every fiber of my being,” he rasps, brushing his lips over mine. The tip of his tongue glides over the seam of my mouth and instinctively, my lips part welcoming him. We kiss like it’s our first and not our last, slowly exploring and relishing in the taste of one another.
Suddenly, it takes a turn and becomes a frenzied kiss full of desperation. My hands reach up and wind around his neck as my body melds to his. In a short while my husband will turn himself in but right now, in this moment, it’s me who is surrendering.
Me who is giving up.
Our lips finally pause, and we reluctantly pull away from one another. There are no words left to say and as tears fall from the corners of his eyes, he presses a kiss to my forehead and takes my hands in his. He leads me out of our bedroom, out of our safe haven and we make our descent into hell.
In the kitchen, Jack’s brothers crowd around the table and shower Danny with attention. As Pipe assures Danny, they will take care of his dad, Wolf walks towards me. Jack releases my hand and Wolf wraps me in an embrace.
“We’re here for you, sweetheart,” he says, giving my small frame a squeeze.
I don’t respond. Mainly because I’m still feeling somewhat bitter but also because I have nothing left. No will to speak. No will to cry. Nothing.
“Why don’t you come over my house? Maria is home and would love the company. The woman ain’t happy unless she’s feeding someone—”
“No,” I say, pulling out of his arms. “I have to take Danny to school.”