Page 54 of Parrish

Chapter Twenty

Jack Parrish

As I follow the doctor into the intensive care unit, I’m transcended back to the night I pulled up to my brother Daniel’s house and found it burnt to a crisp. A sickening feeling spread throughout my being as I stared at the frame of the house. I knew instantly there was no way my brother survived the fire. To this day I’m grateful I never had to identify the body, that one of my brother’s did—who, I don’t have the slightest clue. Still, I’m thankful I didn’t witness him in that condition. My memories of him remain intact.

Unscathed.

Unscarred.

Later, I found out there was a lone survivor of the fire and she had the scars to prove it. Thinking about it now, I believe I sought Reina out of sheer curiosity. I was sure anyone who lived through that nightmare must’ve been mangled. I never expected to find a beauty. Reina was a living, breathing miracle, created of flesh and blood. She was sent from Heaven to rescue me and was the epitome of strength. I had to believe she would survive this tragedy too.

Once a warrior, always a warrior.

And any life worth living only exists if she’s in it.

“Here we are,” the doctor says, coming to a stop in front of the glass partition. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I glance over his shoulder and the moment my eyes connect with my wife’s form, my knees threaten to buckle. The doctor steps to the side and I drag my feet closer to the partition, splaying my palms against the cool glass as I stare at the woman I love.

There is a bandage wrapped around her head and she’s hooked up to a ventilator. Aside from the machine that’s helping her breathe, there are about a half dozen other ones connected to her. I can spot the cuts and bruises marking her beautiful face and the sight causes my fists to clench.

“Can she hear me?” I ask hoarsely, looking back at the doctor. “If I talk to her, can she hear me?”

“Yes,” he says. “I like to think that’s the best medicine in situations like this.”

I look back at my wife and he excuses himself while I muster up the courage to enter her room. Drawing in a deep breath I take a step forward and the motion sensor doors slide open. I’m immediately engulfed by the sterile scent of the room. The machines sound loudly in my ears and I glance at the monitor displaying her heart rate. The little heart flashes on the screen as the numbers fluctuate. Next to the monitor, there is another machine pumping oxygen into her lungs. The whole scene is too much for me to bear and without looking at her, I drag the chair next to the bed and take a seat. Lifting my hands, I cover my face.

Tears well in my eyes, angering me.

I’m not supposed to cry.

I’m not supposed to fall apart.

This isn’t about me, it’s not about my illness. It’s about Reina. It’s about loving her through the darkness and guiding her back to me. It’s about being her light… her fucking sunshine.

Peeling my hands away from my face, I lift my head and force my eyes to her. I take in her pale skin and all the cuts and bruises visibly marking her pale skin. Even at her worst, she’s still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.

I lean forward and reach for her hand. Surprised how warm it is compared to mine, I squeeze it gently and brush my lips over her knuckles.

“Sunshine, baby, it’s me,” I rasp. “I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. Not now, not any time soon,” I say, pausing to clear my throat. It might be premature and if she can hear me, I’m sure she’s silently calling bullshit.

“I should’ve never considered that deal, much less agreed to it,” I admit. The truth of the matter is, I should’ve chosen her. Always her. Before everything and anyone. I didn’t and now she’s lying in a hospital, hooked up to a shit ton of machines and in a fucking coma.

“The doctor says you can hear me,” I start, shuffling my chair closer to her bedside. “I need you to listen to me, Sunshine, and I need you to listen real good. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, hurt a lot of people and played them dirty. But I never meant to hurt you or play you dirty. I thought if I took the deal, I would be sparring you and Danny. If I was gone, you wouldn’t have to deal with my debilitating illness. You wouldn’t have to peel me off the floor or wipe the vomit from my face when I got sick from the meds. Nor would you have to watch me deteriorate. But, more than that, you wouldn’t have to live a life of fear or come second to the club anymore. You’d be free.”

As I speak, I can almost hear her contradict every argument I’m trying to make by reciting her vows to me.

In sickness and in health.

Til death do we part.

I lay her hand on the bed and release my hold on her. Swiping my hands over my face, I peer at her through the spaces between my fingers.

“Wake up, Reina. Please wake up and give me a chance to make the right choice. Wake up and I swear I’ll choose you. Over and over, I’ll choose you. I’ll put you and our son before everything…”

My voice trails off and I drop my hands to my knees. For a moment I watch her chest rise and fall with each breath. She’s in there. I know she is. I can feel her warmth enveloping me as I stare at her.

The same warmth that’s pulled me out of every manic episode I’ve had since she walked into my life.

“I’ll get help,” I whisper. “Find a medicine that works for me. I’ll get better and be the man you deserve. I swear, Reina, on our boy, I will do it.”

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