Page 63 of Parrish

Bending down, I push his hair away from his forehead and press a quick kiss to the top of his head. “You’re your mom’s greatest joy. You’re her light.”

“Like she’s yours?”

“Exactly like that,” I replied hoarsely, finding comfort in his words. I suppose I must’ve done something right for him to know how much I love his mother. Isn’t that something? How a child can say what you need to hear at the exact moment you need to hear it most. They’re observant little creatures.

“And like I always find my way out of the darkness and into the light, so will your mom. She’ll find her way to you.”

“Dad’s right,” Lacey agrees. Surprised to hear her side with me, I lift my head and meet her gaze. She wipes a tear from the corner of her eye. “Danny, why don’t you let dad go visit your mom while we go back to bed. Maybe in the morning, he’ll come back with good news,” she says, tearing her eyes away from me to look at her brother.

Seeming to contemplate the suggestion, Danny leans his head on Lacey’s shoulder and studies me.

“Will you give her a kiss for me?”

“I’ll give her ten kisses,” I whisper.

“Okay,” he says while Lacey pulls the blanket over the both of them.

“Go, we’ll be fine,” she says, settling against the headboard. It’s then I notice the dark circles under her eyes and I quickly realize Danny’s cries probably didn’t wake her. The poor girl can’t sleep because she’s too worried about her husband and there ain’t a damn thing I can do to ease her mind. At least not yet.

I make a mental note to call Schwartz and see where Blackie stands before giving her a nod. I remind them both they can call me if they need anything and that I’ll check in with them in a couple of hours when the sun comes up. I leave the bedroom and close the door softly behind me, leaning my head against it. I’ve never felt so helpless and anxious at the same time. Helpless because there are so many people around me hurting and anxious…so fucking anxious to avenge this whole goddamn thing.

I swipe a hand over my face and push myself off the door, making my way towards the bathroom. Inside, I splash my face with cold water and quickly brush my teeth. As much as I need a shower, I don’t want to waste any more time being apart from Reina. Daringly, I lift my head and peer at the mirror, taking in my reflection. I can’t stand the sight of myself and somehow refrain from smashing my fist against the mirror. Reaching into my kutte, I pull out the orange prescription bottle and expertly pop the cap off. I shake the last of the pills into the palm of my hand and throw my head back, forcing them down my throat.

My eyes drift back to the mirror.

“You’re a fucking bastard,” I hiss. “It should be you, not her.”

You can join her, Parrish.

And there she is.

My maker.

I should’ve expected that bitch would pay me a visit.

She’s been quiet for too long.

If you had any balls, you’d take that gun of yours and shove it between your lips.

You’d silence me once and for all.

Do it.

Closing my eyes, I brace my hands on the edge of the sink and beg for silence.

Do it.

“Shut up.”

Do it.

“Shut the fuck up,” I growl through clenched teeth.

Do it.

“Not now, cunt,” I hiss, opening my eyes. “I say when it’s over,” I sneer as I stare at my reflection. “I’m not done here. Not yet.”

Aren’t you though?

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