Page 6 of Blackout

I guess I did.

“You could’ve jumped on that bike of yours and hit up a grocery store for booze or called your dealer for a hit. Instead, you called me.”

“I called you,” I repeat, drawing out a sigh as I look back towards the clock. “Shit, Billy, I’m fucking sorry man.”

“You got nothing to be sorry for, Blackie. My phone is always on. You call any time, you hear me?”

“Yeah, man, I hear you,” I say hoarsely. “Thank you.”

“I’ve been there, man. I’ve lived it too. It doesn’t go away, but it does get easier. You gotta clear that fog from your head, open your eyes and see what life has to offer. Stop looking down at the bottom of a bottle and start looking up at the beauty that surrounds you. Got a lot of life in you to live, kid. Got a lot of memories to make with that woman of yours. Quit thinking you’re drowning and fucking hold your head high. Breathe, Blackie, just fucking breathe.”

“Breathe,” I repeat.

“Yeah, man, breathe. You remember how to do that, don’t you?”

No, I don’t but from this moment forward, I’m damn well going to fucking try. If not for myself then for Lacey. For the baby that’s going to look at me like those innocent kids looked at Yankovich. For the beauty that surrounds me and the blessings God grants me.

Breathe.

Come Hell or high water, I’m going to learn how the fuck to breathe.

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