Page 95 of Blackout

Seemingly impressed, he arched an eyebrow and slipped the key into his pocket. In a chapel with dozens of lit candles and God bearing witness, my cocky lawyer turned to Bianci and ordered him to get rid of the witness.

There was a plan in motion and still, I didn’t feel an ounce of relief. Probably because I knew my wife wouldn’t understand. Part of me wanted to tell her what was going on, but I feared for her health.

Now, here I am standing in front of her, holding a pink teddy bear as I watch her sleep in a plastic chair in the waiting room. She looks so fucking peaceful…so goddamn perfect. It kills me to know I’ll miss even a second of her body changing as she goes through the pregnancy. That I’ll lose out on watching her become even more beautiful than she already is. I hope she takes a lot of pictures and I pray she keeps all those black and white grainy sonogram photos safe. When I get home, those photos are going to keep me busy.

Crouching down on one knee, I run my fingers gently down the side of her face. She stirs at the touch, but those big brown eyes don’t open.

Glancing down at the teddy bear in my hand, I smile slightly as I touch the ear. As soon as the gift shop opened, I went downstairs to grab Lacey some magazines. I got her whatever they had and as I stood on line to pay, I spotted the display of stuffed animals. It took me five minutes to decide which one, knowing it was the first thing I’d ever purchase for my kid.

Pink or blue…

Girl or boy…

I don’t know when I became partial to girls, but suddenly I found myself purchasing the pink bear.

Lifting the bear, I press it to my lips and tuck it against Lacey’s side. I stand, pass another hand over her head and touch my lips to her forehead.

“Forgive me,” I whisper hoarsely before I leave her alone in the waiting room.

Please, forgive me.

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