Page 36 of Blackout: Book Two

Chapter Fourteen

Blackie

Thirty days had come and gone without any contact from the people I love. Sunny and the rest of the crew here say the ban on the outside world is imperative to an addict’s recovery. They claim it’s a time for us to be one with ourselves and face all the things we try to hide from without interruption. I guess they have a point. Without any distractions, I’ve had one brutal realization after another. I’ve come to terms with a lot of things and realize I have a long road ahead of me. The things that are broken inside of me can’t be fixed overnight and if I want to make a conscious effort at making things right, I have to be patient with myself.

However, today there is no patience to be found because today is the day, I finally see my girl. My beautiful brown-eyed girl. I don’t even care if she has nothing to say to me. I just want to look at her. Maybe if I’m lucky, she’ll let me hold her hand. It’s a stretch, but a man can dream, can’t he?

“They’re here,” Sunny says from the doorway of my room. Tearing my eyes away from the window, I turn to face her and watch as her eyes widen. “Whoa…you shaved.”

Instinctively, I lift the back of my hand to my smooth face and bite the inside of my cheek. It was an impulse decision I made last night. A feeble attempt to know the man who hides behind the shaggy hair and unkempt scruff.

“…is that a man bun?” Sunny questions, still gaping at me.

“Okay, enough,” I hiss, reaching behind me to pull the band from my hair. “I just thought I’d clean up a little. The last time Lacey saw me I was chained to a bed and looked as though I got hit by a Mack truck.”

She smiles at me and I feel my cheeks redden.

What a fucking joke.

“Ah, I see,” she replies. “Well, I’m sure she will appreciate your efforts.”

“Stop staring at me,” I growl, shaking my hair out as I close the distance between us. “It’s just hair.”

“Right,” she says and clears her throat. “Shall we?”

“Fuck yes.”

“There he is,” she mumbles. “I was starting to worry.”

“No need for alarm. Your tree hugging ways haven’t rubbed off on me,” I tease, draping an arm around her. The yoga loving counselor is starting to grow on me.

“We’ve got nine more months, Dominic,” she retorts as we exit the room side by side. Together, we walk down the hallway and make our way out of the housing section. Family visits are conducted in the main building and so, we cross through the garden, bypassing the pool and basketball courts. Arriving at the entrance, I drop my hand from her shoulder and reach for the handle on the glass door. Stopping me, Sunny wraps her hand around my wrist and I look at her.

“Before we go in there, I want to remind you that this isn’t about making amends. We’ll get there but you aren’t at that stage of your recovery just yet. Think of this as a progress report, a chance for you to share your goals with the people who support your recovery.”

“So, if I feel like telling Lacey, I’m sorry I shouldn’t?”

“You could but why don’t you think about all the times you’ve said it before. How many times have you apologized and not truly meant it? They’re just words if there aren’t any actions that follow. Do you really think she wants more words?”

Probably not.

“Share your progress. Ask how she’s doing. Keep it light.”

Blowing out a breath, I nod.

“Light,” I repeat. “I can do that.”

“Now, stop fretting,” she says, nudging me with her elbow. “Everything will be fine. You’re going to knock the socks off your bride once she gets a load of that handsome face.”

A chuckle escapes my lips as I pull open the door and step aside, giving her room to enter before me. Leading me to the family room, I watch as she picks up the phone and tells whoever is on the other end to send in my visitors. Anxiety claws at me and I start to pace the room. I’m fucking sweating like a whore in church all because I’m about to see my wife for the first time in a month. The door opens behind me and I swear everything stops.

My heart.

My lungs.

Everything shuts down as I turn around.

Jack is first to enter and the sight of him slowly kicks everything back into gear. His eyes rake over me and with his signature toothpick wedged between his lips, his mouth curves into a smile.

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