Page 47 of Blackout: Book Two

“Happy tears,” I repeat.

“Yes, you sound so—ouch!”

“Lace?”

Panic rolls through me as she remains silent.

“Lacey, what happened?” I ask frantically as I lean forward, ready to jump out of the chair. A lot good that’ll do me. “Are you okay?” I growl, clenching my free hand into a fist.

“I think she kicked,” she whispers.

My chest tightens as a sea of mixed emotions washes over me. On one hand, I’m happy to be on the phone with her while she experiences our baby moving inside of her. On the other, I’m devastated I’m not there to witness her face as it happens.

“Oh my God,” she murmurs. “Blackie, I feel her. I actually feel her.”

I close my eyes and a tear slips from the corner as her laugh fills my ears once more.

“It feels like butterflies.”

Forcing my eyes open, I swallow the lump in my throat and try to find my voice.

“I’ve never felt her before,” she cries. “It’s like she waited for you.”

“Put the phone on speaker and close to your belly,” I rasp.

“Okay…it’s on my belly.”

“It’s Daddy…” The words get stuck in my throat and I lose it. I bow my head as tears fall from my eyes. My knuckles turn white around the phone and I try to compose myself. “I know you don’t recognize my voice…I’ll make it up to you. I swear, I’ll make it up to you and your mother. Until then, go easy on her and…know...know I love you and I can’t wait to finally meet you.”

Holding the phone away from me, I turn my head, pressing my mouth to my bicep, muffling the anguished cry that erupts from my throat…from my fucking soul.

“Blackie?”

Biting my lip, I bring the phone back to my ear.

“Yeah.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just…”

I can’t take any more.

“My time is up,” I lie, roughly pushing my fingers through my hair. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she whispers.

“Can I call you again?” I ask my voice cracks with every word.

“Yes.”

“Okay…I’ll…um…we’ll talk soon.”

Desperate for the pain to fade and for the gaping hole in my heart to close, I hastily hang up the phone.

Without saying goodbye.

Without telling her I love her.

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