Page 64 of Blackout: Book Two

“Why do you think I’ve been rooting for you to have a little girl of your own? There ain’t nothing in this world like a daughter. When a man has a little girl, he knows who deserves her when she becomes a woman. Now, there ain’t a man on this earth who will love her like I do but you’re a close second and knowing you have heart gives me peace of mind. So, you have my blessing to keep it.”

Even your father believes his lies.

I’m all you have.

Lifting my hands to the sides of my head, I bolt out of my seat.

“No! No! No! You’re the liar,” I shout, bolting out of my seat.

“Lacey?”

Blackie’s voice registers and I turn abruptly. Concern radiates from his eyes as he stands and makes his way towards me. Holding up my hand, I shake my head and he goes completely still. Tears spill from my eyes as I glance around the room, taking in everyone’s expressions. My father rises from his seat and moves to stand beside Blackie.

“Lacey,” he coaxes. “Sweetheart.”

Feeling hollow, I stare at him blankly. My lower lip trembles as a sob wretches from somewhere deep inside of me. A dark and uninviting place I’ve tried so desperately to escape.

“I can’t do this,” I say to no one in particular.

“You can’t do what, sweetheart?” my dad questions softly. More tears spill from my eyes as I remain silent. I try to process what I’m feeling, but everything is so jumbled. My mind. My heart. Nothing is in sync.

“Alright, that’s it,” my father growls, stepping in front of Blackie. “We’re getting out of here. I’m taking you home.”

“Lace, look at me,” Blackie demands hoarsely. At the sound of his voice, my eyes flit to him and I watch as he steps around my father. Standing between us, he offers a hand to me and I stare at it as if it’s a foreign object. As if I haven’t taken his hand thousands of times willing to run to the ends of the world with him.

“My eyes are up here, Lace,” Blackie continues, and I lift my gaze to meet his. Breathing a sigh of relief, he closes his eyes briefly before taking another step towards me. He gives up with the offer of his hand and without permission takes both of mine and pulls me closer. “Baby, talk to me,” he croaks. His voice is desperate and full of emotion.

“Black,” my father growls. “Stand down. She’s breaking, man.”

“No, Jack,” Blackie hisses, keeping his eyes on me. “She doesn’t break. Isn’t that right, girl? Tell him you don’t break, that you’re too strong.”

There’s that spark of hope again. Part of me wishes it would rub off on me, but I know it’s too late. Hope doesn’t live here anymore and I’m starting to think it never did.

“Lacey,” he cries. His voice cracks as his hands drop to my belly. Bending his knees slightly, he brings us eye level. “What’s happening inside that pretty little head of yours?”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

“Listen to me, you have nothing to be sorry for her,” he assures me.

“Sure, I do,” I tell him, covering his hands with mine. “I thought I could do this, Blackie. I wanted to be a good mother.”

“You’re a fantastic mother,” he replies quickly. “I couldn’t ask for a better mother for our girl. Where is any of this coming from?”

“Blackie,” my father calls again. “I think—”

“Get out,” Blackie says, cutting him off. “Everyone leave.”

“Dominic,” Sunny interjects. “I think it’s best if we—”

“This ain’t your rodeo, Sunny,” he spats. “Back off.”

“It isn’t yours either,” my father shouts.

Ignoring him, Blackie looks back at me with tears in his eyes.

“Tell me how to help you,” he begs.

I don’t know what it is about those words, but suddenly I find my will to surrender.

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