Page 35 of Cocky Jerk

“Aha, so you agree it’s fruit,” I interrupt. The whole melon versus fruit thing was driving me insane. I had to google what the fuck a pineapple was when I got home.

She rolls her eyes and fixes me with a look.

“You opened the door for me.”

Peering at her, I try to decide where she’s going with this. What’s wrong with opening a door for a woman? The last I checked, they dug that shit.

“So?”

“Good guys open doors for girls. Pigs play them to get laid and then leave them high and dry. If they’re a real douche, they leave a sexually transmitted disease as a party favor.”

Whoa.

This conversation derailed from the tracks.

“Are you telling me you have an STD?”

“God, no!” she shrieks. “I’m clean as a whistle. No party favors left here.”

“Well, then are you asking me if I have one, because I don’t, and I get checked every six months.”

“No, I mean, that’s good, but I…well…”

Then it hits me.

I sit up and place my beer bottle on the coffee table, giving my undivided attention to the pretty girl staring at me through the phone. The girl who just revealed in not so many words, she isn’t as tough as she looks.

“Has no one ever held a door open for you?”

Her teeth sink into her lower lip as she lifts her eyes back to me.

Oh, girl.

Where have you been?

“I see,” I say, pausing a second to find my words. I’m about to school her and send her strict no cop dating rule straight to hell.

“A guy can hold a door open for a woman, Antonia. He can walk on the curbside of the street and sit with his back to the wall and his eyes on the door while they’re out to dinner. He can send her fucking gifts and call just to hear her voice. He can do all those things and still fuck her like it’s his job once she’s in his bed.”

She releases her lip and draws in a deep breath, but I’m far from finished.

“He can talk dirty to her, tell her he wants to eat her pussy until his tongue goes numb and still be a good guy because the truth is, only a gentleman can fuck a woman properly. So he’s respectful, it doesn’t make him any less of a man. He’ll still pull her hair and smack her ass while he bites her lips and sucks on her neck. And after he’s fucked her with his mouth, he’ll flip her over and pound into her like it’s his God-given talent. She’ll bite the pillow to keep from screaming and thank her lucky stars for thegentlemanwho made her come three times before he even thought of himself. So, yeah, I’m a good guy. I talk dirty and I fuck like a gentleman. What are you doing tomorrow night?”

That last bit comes out harsher than I intended, but my cock is about to fall off, so excuse me.

“I don’t know what I’m doing tomorrow, but I know what I’m doing tonight,” she mutters.

“Oh, yeah, what’s that?”

My dick hardens even more against the zipper of my jeans that I lower my hand to undo the top button, hoping it gives me a little relief. It doesn’t and I realize the only thing that’s going to cure my throbbing cock is sticking it deep inside Antonia.

All she has to do is say the word and I’ll blow every light in Brooklyn to get to her as fast as I can. Yes, I know that makes me a hypocrite, but I’m not in uniform right now and I really don’t give a flying fuck.

“Masturbating.”

“You going to let me watch?”

“And ruin the surprise? Never.”

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