Page 70 of Cocky Jerk

“Hmm?”

“Did you mean what you said yesterday?”

She’s going to have to be more specific. I’ve said a lot of shit in the last twenty-four hours. I have had a lot of insane thoughts too.

“About coming with me to the clubhouse?” she clarifies.

My eyes spring open as she lifts her head from my chest and meets my gaze.

“To get your things?”

“If it comes down to that, but I thought you could talk to him and maybe make him understand that being a cop is just a small piece of the man you are.”

I don’t know that me being a cop is a small piece of anything when it comes to Tank DeLuca.

“Forget it,” she says. “It’s a stupid idea. Being around your mom today, made me think of him and how I wish he wasn’t so stubborn…” her voice trails and she glances down at her hands, twisting the hem of her t-shirt. “I’m happy,” she whispers. “These last two days have been the best days I’ve had in…well, a long time. But it sucks being happy and not being able to share it with the person you love most in this world.” She looks back at me. “We’ve been fighting a lot lately and I suppose that’s partially my fault. I’m not the easiest person to get along with—something you should probably know before we take this any further. When I get something in my head, I run with it. There’s no changing my mind. And no one can tell me I can’t do something because that word simply isn’t part of my vocabulary. I’ll only work ten times harder to prove I can.”

“Antonia—”

“He doesn’t get that…my dad.”

He’s a fool, a goddamn fool. If I had a daughter, I would never clip her wings. I may not agree with everything she wants or does, but I think a parent can only offer their guidance. Eventually, they need to let go. Kids are going to make mistakes. It’s part of the journey. But a parent should never discourage their child to follow their hearts. They should never be told they can’t try something different because that thing they don’t necessarily agree with, may be the one thing that changes their whole life.

I place a finger to her lips, silencing.

“Babe, can we put the coming to Jesus moment on hold so I can answer your question?”

She nods softly.

“Since we’re being open and honest, you should know a few things about me too. I don’t say things I don’t mean. I told you I would take you to the clubhouse and I will. You want me to talk to him, to plead my case, I’ll do that too.”

“You will?”

“If it makes you happy, yeah.”

She throws her arms around my neck and presses a wet kiss to my lips. I smile against her mouth, realizing I mean those words with every fiber of my being.

If making nice with her dad keeps her smiling, I’m all in.

“I’ll pick you up after work and we’ll head over there tomorrow.”

She pulls back an inch and our eyes lock.

“You’re too good to be true, Pirelli.”

Nah, I’m just tired and in need of a CAT scan.

Chapter Twenty-One

Antonia

Spending the weekend with Marcoand meeting some of his family was bittersweet. On one hand, I was thrilled. Tig and Delia were cool as fuck and Marco’s mom, Carmella, she reminded me of the actress Katherine Narducci in the movieA Bronx Tale. She had no filter and nothing but love for her son. All in all, Marco’s family was great, and they all made me feel like I was one of them. Like I belonged.

But on the other hand, it made me miss my dad. I don’t mean in the physical sense, either. I missed the relationship we used to have and the more I thought about it, the more I realized things didn’t change because of my new job. They have been changing since I hit puberty. The internship was just the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Fathers and daughters are tricky.

A dad is a little girl’s first love. He’s a consistent hero throughout her childhood. The man who scares away the monsters under the bed and kisses all her boo-boos. The guy who teaches her how to pedal a bike and the one who let’s go of the seat when the training wheels are off, giving her room to fly on her own.

---